Pushing back the frontiers of
Two major reasons that President Bush
should be impeached. His job, as outlined in the Constitution, is to
protect our borders and sovereignty. He has left our southern border wide
open (and punished border guards for doing their job) and has aligned
himself with the left on the "Sea Treaty" which would give up our ability to
protect ourselves on the open sea and give up our off shore oil rights!
The castrati at Columbia invited Mahmoud
Ahmadine-nut-job to spread his insanity among the undergraduates and to
reinforce the liberal insanity of it's professors and then took a shot of
testosterone to "ask tough questions" only after our fellow citizens outrage
was realized - too little, too late!
Marvelous Mary's Melodious
Laugh and the whole world laughs with
you; cry and you just might get a hung jury.
A word to the wise isnít necessary. It's
the stupid ones who need the advice
Not such a bad day for that student who
was tasered at the John Kerry speech in Florida. If you've ever heard John
Kerry speak, being tasered is a bit less painful.
A fruit is a vegetable with looks and
money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something brussels
sprouts never do.
My anger management counselor really
pisses me off!
Super Sarah's Stupendous Sayings
October is National Go Hog Wild - Eat
This is Mystery Series Week [Reread a
Hardy Boy's or a Sherlock Holmes]
October 1 is . . . . . World Vegetarian
October 1 is . . . . . Magic Circles Day
October 2 is . . . . . Name Your Car Day
October 2 is . . . . . World Farm
October 3 is . . . . . Virus
October 3 is . . . . . Dalton Defenders
Days [always defend your dalton!]
October 3 is . . . . . Lee's National
October 3 is . . . . . World Smile
Day [at least, try]
October 3 is . . . . . Virus
Appreciation Day [oh yeah]
October 4 is . . . . . International
Frugal Fun Day [Cheapskate!]
October 4 is . . . . . Toot Your Flute
October 4 is . . . . . Ten-Four Day
[10-4 old buddy]
October 4 is . . . . . National Golf
Day [What? Isn't EVERY day]
October 5 is . . . . . National
October 5 is . . . . . Intergeneration
Day[Get your generator checked]
October 5 is . . . . . Spinach Lovers
October 6 is . . . . . Come and Take It
Day [and get arrested]
October 6 is . . . . . Jackie Mayer
Rehab Day [It was time that Jackie got rehabbed]
October 6 is . . . . . World Habitat Day
October 6 is . . . . . Women's New Day
October 6 is . . . . . World Herbal
Health Day [make sure your herbs are healthy!]
OVERKILL: "Orlando Police Ask for Guns,
Get Missile Launcher" -- Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel headline
Osama Imitates Obama: "Osama bin Laden
may release a new message within days calling for attacks on Pakistan,
according to a group that monitors extremist Web sites." ---Bloomberg
News of the Tautological: "Stuck in
Traffic? You're Not Alone" ---Associated Press
It Better Not Be Wide: "Anglican
Gay-Bishop Stance is Put to a Test" ---Chicago Tribune
'Dude, No Wonder I Can't Inhale!':
"Sam's Joint Smoke-Free" ---Grand Rapids (MI) Press
Avast, Software Buccaneers, You Be
Keelhauled!: "University in N.D. Warns Students About Pirating"
News You Can Use: "Campaign Comments
Can't Always Be Taken at Face Value" ---Bellingham (WA) Herald
Who Noticed: "Chafee Quietly Quits the
GOP" ---Providence (RI) Journal
Bottom Story of the Day: "Democrats Fail
to Pass Anti-War Bill" ---Associated Press
Poor Puns from the Perfect
A motorcycle enthusiast complained that
he couldn't decide whether to buy a bike with high top speed and poor
acceleration, or one with lots of torque and fast acceleration, but a poor
top speed. Eventually he decided on the second one, because it cost a lot
less. After all, torque is cheap!
Excerpts from my resume
Next I tried working in a muffler
factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it
would add a little spice too my life but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any
way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but
eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a
doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Important Book Titles
House Construction -- by Bill Jerome Home
Yellow River -- by Iam Ping
Lewis Carroll -- by Alison Wonderland
Leo Tolstoy -- by Warren Peace
That's it this week from your
embedded reporter in the principle city without principles - Absurdia, located
in the middle of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where only 4-6
per cent of our students graduate but we like it that way....
The L. A. Lakers Breakfast -- by Kareem
But, on the other hand - Yesterday is history. Tomorrow's a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why they call it the present.
Return to the Friday's Musings
Return to the A-1 Associates