October 5, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
It's official---Congress now has the lowest
approval rating of any Congress in the history of the United States. It is
just 11 percent. (11%) In fact, their approval rating is so low, today they
were invited to speak at Columbia University.
Did you know your government has a "Diversity
Visa" program? The following, listed as "terrorist
sponsoring states," have had visas approved by our government. Iran
2,486; Sudan 2,088; Cuba 1,877; Syria 443; North Korea 5. Total: 6,899
since 9/11,2001 Now, do you still trust our State Department? How do you
Marvelous Mary's Mutterings ................
Most people are unwilling to sell their souls; but
they usually aren't opposed to renting them out for an hour or two
I bet that Van Gogh guy cut off his ear by accident and made
up that 'lost love' story so he wouldn't look stupid
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with a lot of pleasure.
My friends all say I'm extremely shallow, but I think they're
just jealous because I'm so buff and have a really cool car.
My new computer has so much memory that it can even hold a
Sappy Sarah's superfluous
October is National Cookie Month
This is National Pet Peeve Week
October 7 is . . . . . National Frappe
October 8 is . . . . . American Tag Day [Only play tag during your break]
October 8 is . . . . . National Bring Your Teddy Bear To Work & School Day
October 8 is . . . . . Worldwide: Top Spinning At Noon Day
October 9 is . . . . . Moldy Cheese Day
October 9 is . . . . . World Post Day [Plant a post today!]
October 10 is . . . . National Angel Food Cake Day
October 10 is . . . . Hunter's Moon
October 10 is . . . . World Egg Day
October 11 is . . . . National Coming Out Day [Hmmm....]
October 11 is . . . . It's My Party Day
October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day [At
last, an official day]
October 12 is . . . . Destiny Day
October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival
Actual Headlines ............................
SEVEN-YEAR ITCH: "German Politician Proposes Seven-year Limit on Marriages"
-- AFP headline
Tell Him About the 22nd Amendment: "What to Do With Bush on the 2008
Campaign Trail?" ---Reuters
And After All the Work We've Done to Perfect It!: "La Nina Threatens to
Wreck World's Weather" ---Times (London)
Here's Your Host, Al Gore: "World's Most Boring TV Show to Measure Energy
But He Can't Hide!: "Pakistani Court Says Musharraf Can Run" ---Associated
Sorry, Not Wide Enough: "Antigay Stance Loses Support for Candidate" ---St.
Petersburg (FL) Times
News You Can Use: "Dead? You Still Have to Pay Your Fines at This NY
Library" ---Press & Sun-Bulletin (Binghamton, NY)
Books I wish I had written
Why Cars Stop -- by M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows -- by Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger -- by Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing -- by Andover Hand
It's Springtime! -- by Theresa Green
No! -- by Kurt Reply
My Resume, continued .....................
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the
work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the
Having displayed my achievements above, that's it for this week from
your embedded reporter. lurking in the outskirts of the major city -
Absurdia, in the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where we elected
people that promised to raise our taxes and then try to look surprised when
But, on the other hand ..........................
In three words, I can summarize life - it goes on.