October 5, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance ............

 
It's official---Congress now has the lowest approval rating of any Congress in the history of the United States. It is just 11 percent. (11%)  In fact, their approval rating is so low, today they were invited to speak at Columbia University.
 
Did you know your government has a "Diversity Visa" program?  The following, listed as "terrorist sponsoring states," have had visas approved by our government.  Iran 2,486;  Sudan 2,088;  Cuba 1,877;  Syria 443;  North Korea 5.   Total: 6,899 since 9/11,2001  Now, do you still trust our State Department?  How do you like "diversity?"

Marvelous Mary's Mutterings ................
 
Most people are unwilling to sell their souls; but they usually aren't opposed to renting them out for an hour or two
 
I bet that Van Gogh guy cut off his ear by accident and made up that 'lost love' story so he wouldn't look stupid
 
I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with a lot of pleasure.
 
My friends all say I'm extremely shallow, but I think they're just jealous because I'm so buff and have a really cool car.
 
My new computer has so much memory that it can even hold a grudge

 
Sappy Sarah's superfluous sayings .........................
 
October is National Cookie Month
 
This is National Pet Peeve Week
 
October 7 is . . . . . National Frappe Day

October 8 is . . . . . American Tag Day    [Only play tag during your break]

October 8 is . . . . . National Bring Your Teddy Bear To Work & School Day

October 8 is . . . . . Worldwide: Top Spinning At Noon Day

October 9 is . . . . . Moldy Cheese Day  

October 9 is . . . . . World Post Day    [Plant a post today!]

October 10 is . . . . National Angel Food Cake Day

October 10 is . . . . Hunter's Moon

October 10 is . . . . World Egg Day

October 11 is . . . . National Coming Out Day    [Hmmm....]

October 11 is . . . . It's My Party Day

October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day    [At last, an official day]

October 12 is . . . . Destiny Day

October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival

Actual Headlines ............................
 
SEVEN-YEAR ITCH: "German Politician Proposes Seven-year Limit on Marriages" -- AFP headline
 
Tell Him About the 22nd Amendment: "What to Do With Bush on the 2008 Campaign Trail?" ---Reuters
 
And After All the Work We've Done to Perfect It!: "La Nina Threatens to Wreck World's Weather" ---Times (London)
 
Here's Your Host, Al Gore: "World's Most Boring TV Show to Measure Energy Use" ---Reuters
 
But He Can't Hide!: "Pakistani Court Says Musharraf Can Run" ---Associated Press
 
Sorry, Not Wide Enough: "Antigay Stance Loses Support for Candidate" ---St. Petersburg (FL) Times
 
News You Can Use: "Dead? You Still Have to Pay Your Fines at This NY Library" ---Press & Sun-Bulletin (Binghamton, NY)
Books I wish I had written ...........................
 
Why Cars Stop -- by M. T. Tank

Wind in the Willows -- by Russell Ingleaves

Look Younger -- by Fay Slift

Mountain Climbing -- by Andover Hand

It's Springtime! -- by Theresa Green

No! -- by Kurt Reply

My Resume, continued .....................
 
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
 
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
 
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
 
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Having displayed my achievements above, that's it for this week from your embedded reporter. lurking in the outskirts of the major city - Absurdia, in the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where we elected people that promised to raise our taxes and then try to look surprised when it happens..........

But, on the other hand ..........................
 
In three words, I can summarize life - it goes on.
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