October 19, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance .............................

 
If you have family or friends in the military, you need to know this!
 
Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are pushing for a bill of condemnation of Turkey for actions they took over 90 years ago, in a civil conflict against the Armenians.. 
 
Why? To upset our most important ally in the mid-east so that it makes it more difficult for our soldiers to win a peace in Iraq.  (Turkey provides many needed services to our military air bases, etc.) In other words, the Liberals will trade the lives of our loved ones to beat back George Bush.
 
"There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men."---Edmund Burke

Marvelous Mary's Meanderings .........................................
 
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
 
Six percent of all American men are killed by either their wife or girlfriend - or the wife who caught them with their girlfriend.
 
It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
 
Words are very important. When you talk to our neighbors, just say your aunt likes to crochet. Don't call her the happy hooker!"
 
PEDESTRIAN, n: Someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank. 
Superfluous Sarah's Sayings ........................
 
This is National Pickled Pepper Month  
 
This is National Save Your Back Week
 
October 21 is . . . . Babbling Day    [And you know who you are]

October 22 is . . . . National Nut Day    [Ditto]

October 20 is . . . . National Brandied Fruit Day

October 22 is . . . . National Color Day

October 23 is . . . . National Mole Day    [Take your pet mole to school today]

October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day

October 25 is . . . . Punk For A Day Day  

October 25 is . . . . Make A Difference Day

October 25 is . . . . Sourest Day

October 26 is . . . . Mule Day

October 26 is . . . . Horseless Carriage Day    [I love my horseless carriage!]

October 26 is . . . . Mother-in-Law Day

October 27 is . . . . Cranky Co-workers Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines ..............................
 
As Long as He Isn't Driving: "Kennedy 'Eating Ice Cream' After Surgery on Artery"---WBZ-TV Web site (Boston)
 
Gov. Schwarzenegger, Call Your Office: "Gurley Man Sues City Club for Rough Toss"---Huntsville (AL) Times
 
Recipe for Trouble: "Rice Appeals to Turkey for Restraint Against Kurdish Rebels"---FoxNews.com  ++   "Turkey & Wild Rice Skillet Cakes"---Toronto Star
 
'None of Your Business What's Under This Robe!': "Judge: No Reason to Tell Jurors About Cross-Dressing"---Newsday (Long Island, NY)
 
The World's Shortest Report: "Report Details Progress in Battle Against Corruption at UN Office"---FoxNews.com
 
RETURN TO SENDER, ADDRESS UNKNOWN: "Inmate Missing after Escaping via Mail Slot" -- Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader headline
 
Headlines We'd Like to See: "The Clinton Indictment"---New York Sun
Paul the Punster strikes again .........................
 
I sure got a lot of strange looks, carrying a dead zebra, a rotting antelope and a suitcase full of rancid prairie dogs. That's the last time I try to board an airplane with more than two carrion items.

Actual Published Books ....................
 
The Great Pantyhose Crafts Book; 1982  
 
Pernicious Pork; or, Astounding Revelations of the Evil Effects of Eating Swine Flesh; 1903  
 
Thirty-six Reasons for Believing in Everlasting Punishment; 1887  
 
1587. A Year of No Importance; n.p.  
 
Life and Laughter 'midst the Cannibals; 1926  

Sensible Observations ..................
 
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather--who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car." 
 
If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children."

That's it for this week from your embedded reporter living in the suburb named Absurbia, just west of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where our children receive a totally inadequate education and we are proud of it....................

But, on the other hand ...............
 
Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it just means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

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