November 9, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
The elected (yes we did!)
representatives of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan have
decided that we need to pay taxes on all services. Well, not quite.
Lawyers and Landscapers (Our two most honored professions!) are exempted.
(Make up your own joke and insert here - possibilities are endless!)
These same representatives could not
find enough support among their members (the VAST majority) to pass a
"slots" bill are going to put it on a referendum.
And, if you have retired to another
state (any state - who could blame you?) and come back to visit your family
for more than 90 days, you MUST pay all Maryland income taxes for the entire
Marvelous Mary's Meteoric
Home computers are the perfect thing for
women who don't feel that men provide them with enough frustration.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect
Opportunity, n. A favorable occasion for
grasping a disappointment.
Q. What is the Native American word for
"lousy hunter?" A. Vegetarian.
The secret of life is honesty and fair
dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made
Why is phonics not spelled the way it
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's
perfect, why practice?
Serendipitous Sarah's Specific Sayings ..................
November is National Georgia Pecan Month
This is Pursuit of Happiness Week
November 11 is . . . . . Air Day
November 12 is . . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies
November 13 is . . . . . National Indian Pudding Day
November 14 is . . . . . Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day [Who? Me?]
November 14 is . . . . . American Teddy Bear Day
November 15 is . . . . . National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
November 16 is . . . . . Button Day
November 16 is . . . . . Alascattalo Day(About Alaska)
November 16 is . . . . . Eighteenth Century Threshing Day [I always take
this day off]
November 17 is . . . . . Take A Hike Day [This has been suggested to me
November 17 is . . . . . Coping With Uncertainty Day
November 17 is . . . . . Homemade Bread Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines ...............................
Keeping a positive outlook: "Manhattan will be underwater by 2050." ---CBS's
Harry Smith re: global warming
The Democratic Primary Heats Up: "Living Donkey Meat Ad Sparks Controversy"
Help Wanted: "Police Impersonator Sought" ---Boston Globe
Food Fight!: "Rice to Turkey: Kurds Are 'Common Threat"' ---USA Today
But 83 Other Reports Say the Opposite: "State Report Says Texas Has Too Many
Reports" ---Associated Press
News of the Tautological: "New York City Marathon Winners Cross the Finish
News You Can Use: "Squirrels Safe to Eat Again in New Jersey" ---Daily News
Pauline, the Perilous Punster
Hans and Stein were playing in their
yard in Zurich when one of the boys accidentally swallowed a coin and
started choking. Hans ran inside to get help, yelling "Mom! Dad! Come
quick! There's a franc in Stein!"
And a bonus ...............
There once was a brave Indian
Who, seeing a church, walked right in
On seeing the pews
He slipped off his shoes
So people would not mock 'is sin
Bodacious Belinda's Bumper
Life's too short to dance with ugly men.
Life's too short to dance with ugly
My wife says if I go fishing one more
time, she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.
When you do a good deed get a receipt
(in case heaven is like the IRS).
I is a college student.
Freddy's Free Advice
Regular naps prevent old age ...
especially if you take them while driving.
Having one child makes you a parent;
having two makes you a referee.
Marriage is a relationship in which one
person is always right and the other is the husband.
I believe we should all pay our tax with
a smile. I tried that but they wanted cash.
And, since I have more time on my hands. My watch strap broke
Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Blamed Arithmetic For His Divorce? A.
His Wife Put Two And Two Together.
Q. Did You Hear About The Husband That Broke His Neck Raking Leaves? A. He
Fell Out Of The Tree.
And that's it for this week from your embedded reporter, here on the
outskirts of the city of Absurdia, located in the People's Democratic
Republic of Absurdistan where we don't pay near enough taxes and get way too
much education for those tax dollars.
But, on the other hand ......................
The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway.
And, another bonus
It is never to late to be what you might have been
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