November 16, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
For you junk science junkies:
(CNSNews.com) – A
new survey of American members of the United Nation’s Intergovernmental
Panel on Climate Change suggests that there is not firm scientific consensus
on global warming, as proponents of swift action to curb carbon emissions
Although Joe Stalin killed more people
then Hitler, the junk science queen of all time, Rachel Carson, is catching
up and will surpass both Stalin & Hitler some day.
Our state legislature has
adopted an official new policy - it is called the "No
Lobbyist Left Behind" Act
Melodious Mary's Marvelous
What are we to make of the fact that NBC
News wanted to hire Rosie O'Donnell as a show host? Was Hugo Chavez not
The writers are on strike... They are
calling this the toughest time for comedy writing since those three weeks
back in the '90s when Bill Clinton stopped dating.
Anyone who denies having been stupid as
a kid is either still a kid or still stupid.
If your spouse isn't talking to you,
I used to have trouble choking down the
pills I have to take for controlling my cholesterol, but it's a lot easier
now that I wrap them in bacon.
Sappy Sarah's Stupendous Sayings
November is National Vegan Month
This is Better Conversation Week
[Keep quiet for a change]
November 18 is . . . . . Occult Day
November 19 is . . . . . Have A Bad Day Day [Why don't we have a bad hair
November 20 is . . . . . Absurdity Day
November 20 is . . . . . Name Your PC Day
November 21 is . . . . . False Confessions Day [Have you seen OJ lately?]
November 21 is . . . . . World Hello Day
November 22 is . . . . .Start Your Own Country Day [One of my
November 23 is . . . . . National Cashew Day
November 24 is . . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? "Prison
Offers Inmates Pole-vaulting Lessons" -- London Daily Express
We Blame George W. Bush: "Newly
Discovered Planets Are Scorchingly Hot" ---FoxNews.com
We Blame Global Warming: "Cow Falls Off
Cliff and Hits Van" ---Associated Press
It's Still 100%: "Extra Weight Said
Won't Raise Death Risk" ---Associated Press
Good Luck With That: "Police Hope
'Pee-Wee Herman' Can Help Them Solve a Violent Crime" ---Star Tribune
'Dude, This'll Make Us the Highest Court
in the Land!': "Calif. Court Considers Marijuana Use" ---Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Police Station No
Place to Smoke Weed" ---Associated Press
Perilous Pauline's Ponderous
A tractor trailer driver lost control of
his rig, plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it into hundreds of
While filling out the police and insurance reports for the damage he had
caused, he noticed a crew of workers picking up each broken piece of the
wrecked tollbooth and spreading some kind of creamy substance on it. Then
they began fitting the pieces together. In less than twenty minutes, they
had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.
Amazed at what he had witnessed, he asked the police officer, "What was that
white stuff those men used to assemble all those pieces together?"
The police officer smiled and said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."
Fantastic Frieda's Free Advice ....................
A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new
Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
You may be too stressed if .................
You can achieve a "runners high" by sitting up.
The sun is too loud.
You are missing several days from this week.
Trees begin to chase you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
That's it this week from your embedded reporter hiding on the
outskirts of Absurdia, the principal city of the Peoples Democratic Republic
of Absurdistan where the state legislators have a new plan to "Build
a bridge to your wallet."
But, on the other hand ....................
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
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