November 23, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
The Xerox company (and others)
have made available a web site where you can, for free, send thank you cards
to our troops. The card covers were designed by children and you have a
large number of suggested messages or you can do your own:
http://www.LetsSayThanks.com Just another way to
say thanks for living in this country...........
Thanks to Huber Smutz for
sending this link!
Melodious Mary's Manic Mutterings ....................
I'm not saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in
the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and
I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first
one was useless
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win it, you're still a rat
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled
Silly Sarah's Stupendous Sayings
November is... International Drum Month
This is National Headache Week [And I
thought it was the week of April 15]
November 25 is . . . . . National
November 26 is . . . . . Shopping Reminder Day
November 26 is . . . . . What Do You Love About America? Day
November 27 is . . . . . Pins And Needles Day
November 28 is . . . . . Buy Nothing Day
November 29 is . . . . . Square Dance Day
November 29 is . . . . . Electronic Greenings Day
November 30 is . . . . . Computer Security Day
November 30 is . . . . . Stay At Home Because You're Well Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
NEXT, A REPORT WILL DISCUSS WHY THEY
NEEDED A REPORT TO TELL THEM THIS: "State Report Says Texas Has Too Many
Reports" -- AP headline
THAT WON'T WORK EITHER: "Nerds to
Auction Themselves to Women" -- AP headline
SOMEONE HAS A ONE-TRACK MIND: "Toy Maker Equips Train with Condom" --
OBVIOUSLY IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE: "Utah Risks Loosing its Best Teachers" --
Salt Lake Tribune headline
SORE LOSER: "Young Encouraged to Worship Bodies, Not Brains --Head" -- PA
But Why Did She Ever Start?: "Woman Stopped Wearing Girdle of Live
Crocodiles" ---Associated Press
Wouldn't That Be the Hip?: "Authorities Investigating Possible Link Between
Torso, Leg Washed Ashore in New York" ---FoxNews.com
Try Something Simple, Like 'See Spot Run': "Military Officials Discuss
Sentence for Hicks" ---NPR.org
News You Can Use: "Tourists, Land Mines Don't Mix" ---Globe and Mail
You know you are too stressed if ...................................
You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for the consumption of
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you've
said it before.
You can hear mimes.
Things become "very clear." Everything is "very clear, indeed."
You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
Palatable Puns from the Previous Punster
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big
white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger said, "I do, Why?" The cowboy said, "I just thought you'd
like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and
Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was about to die from heat
exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got water and soon Silver was starting to feel
a little better.
The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and said, "I want you to run around Silver
and see if you can create enough of a breeze to help cool him down."
Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and begins running circles around Silver.
Unable to do anything except wait, the Lone Ranger returns to the bar to
finish his drink.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns
that big white horse out side?" The Lone Ranger stands and claims, "I do,
what's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun
Bumper Stickers from the Lisbon
Sex on television can't hurt you unless
you fall off.
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law's
face on the back of a milk carton.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat
Don't steal. The government hates
I wonder why
When an agnostic dies, does he go to the
Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?
Do you think Houdini ever locked his
keys in his car?
Why is there a road sign that says
"Braille Institute, Next Exit"?
Well, that's it this week from
your embedded reporter, lurking in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle
city of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where they have built
a bridge to your wallet and we don't care if our kids can "reed & rite" as
long as they can vote for the party in power.
But, on the other hand ....................
Don't let your worries get the best of you;
remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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