November 30, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
Looking forward to the 2008 presidential
On one side we have Hillary & Obama.
Both with no real experience except that maybe Hillary slept with a
What can be said about the other side?
The only positive thing I can think of is at least they are not
Medieval Mary's Melodic
To get back my youth, I would do
anything in the world. Except exercise, get up early or be respectable.
My girlfriend told me I should be more
affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
I disagree with my psychiatrist's
assertion that I'm depressed because I have a serotonin imbalance. I'm
pretty sure the real reason is: My life sucks.
The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts
and will be specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills. . The agents
will be called "Pseudo Feds."
Politicians are interested in people.
Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs
Superficial Sarah's Specific
December is National Stress-free Family
Holidays Month [Yeah, like that is going to happen]
This is Cookie Cutter Week! [Get them
out of the drawer and ready to go!]
December 1 is . . . Day Without Art
Day [Poor Art, to forget him so quickly!]
December 1 is . . . National Pie Day
December 1 is . . . Eat a Red Apple Day
December 2 is . . . National Fritters Day [Don't fritter away this
December 3 is . . . National Roof over Your Head Day
December 4 is . . . Wear Brown Shoes Day
December 5 is . . . Bathtub Party Day [One of my favorites]
December 5 is . . . National Communicate With Your Kids Day [Are you sure
they will listen?]
December 5 is . . . National Sacher Torte Day
December 6 is . . . National Gazpacho Day
December 6 is . . . National Pawnbrokers Day
December 7 is . . . National Cotton Candy Day
December 8 is . . . Most Boring Celebrities Of The Year Day [My vote is
December 8 is . . . Take it in the Ear Day [Try to speak more loudly]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
BIG MAC ATTACK: "Cows Flee after Seeing
McDonald's" -- AP headline
Shouldn't They Have Warned Before
Shooting?: "Iraq Warns Foreign Security Firms After Shooting" ---Reuters
Nice to Know They Died Someplace Pretty:
"Pakistan Says Killed 30 Militants in Scenic Valley" ---Reuters
Can't Mrs. Clinton's People Write the
Questions?: "CBS Strike Could Put Debate in Disarray" ---The Politico
If an Expert Bites a Dog, That's News:
"Dog-Bite Expert to Blame, Pathologist Says" ---Globe and Mail (Toronto)
That's Why They're Not Republicans:
"Demos Appoint King to Lead Them" ---Deseret Morning News (Salt Lake City)
News You Can Use: "Study: Blondes Make
Men Act Dumber" ---FoxNews.com
Better Late Than Never: "New Orleans
Unveils Katrina Recovery Plan" ---Reuters
Perilous Pauline's Pugnacious
Beau Bridges took a meteorology course
in which the instructor was describing how hail is formed -- much higher
than the usual rain clouds. When he asked where specifically it happened, he
was told, "Somewhere over the rain, Beau."
Q. What did the bartender ask Charles
Dickens when he ordered a martini?
A. Olive or twist?
And a bonus ............
A dog owner in Dallas had a pit bull
that hated to walk. He kept sitting down and bracing his feet so that his
owner would have to drag him by his leash. The owner finally gave up when
he realized that he was just creating for himself a bottomless pit!
Ursula's Unanswered Questions
If a mute swears, does his mother wash
his hands with soap?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors
call what they do practice?
If the black box flight recorder is
never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of
That's it for this week from
your embedded reporter hiding what little is left from the Governor
O'Malley's tax committee here in Absurdia, the principal city of The
Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan
But, on the other hand .....................
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
Now I know better than to show
pictures of new family members, but....
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