December 21, 2007

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance .................

 
Merry Christmas to all of you!
Marvelous Mary's Melodic Meanderings ...............
 
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
 
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
 
Alcohol is the irrigation that problems use to grow and multiply.  
 
Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.
 
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
Stupendous Sarah's Sayings ........................
 
December is Cut Your Own Christmas Tree Month    [And I hope you have done so by now!]
 
This is Operation Santa Paws Week
 
December 23 is . . . Roots Day

December 24 is . . . National Egg Nog Day

December 25 is . . . National Pumpkin Pie Day

December 26 is . . . Boxing Day

December 26 is . . . Kids Afer Christmas Day

December 26 is . . . National Whiners Day  

December 27 is . . . National Fruitcake Day   [Please be sure to honor the fruitcake of your choice, today]

December 27 is . . . Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day

December 28 is . . . Card Playing Day

December 28 is . . . National Chocolate Day

December 29 is . . . Pepper Pot Day  

December 29 is . . . Tick Tock Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines .................
 
Who Says There's a Clash of Civilizations?: "Christians Agree With Muslims They Must Have Goat in New Jersey" ---Bloomberg
 
Breaking News From 1492: "World Is Not Flat, Academic Says" ---Reuters
 
Answers to Questions No One Asked: "George Clooney Says No to Presidency" ---Hollyscoop.com
 
News of the Tautological: "Credit Card Use Leads to Rise in Consumer Borrowing" ---Associated Press
 
IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER: "Cloned Beef -- the Other Red Meat" -- Chicago Tribune headline
Preppy Peter's Puns .......................
 
A Russian and a Czechoslovakian were out hunting one day and were attacked and eaten by a Ma Ma Bear and a Pa Pa Bear.   The two bears were finally found and shot. They took both bears back for an autopsy. They found the Czech was in the male.
 
Senators William Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of church bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis Team after its tour of Communist China.    The bill failed to pass, cheating the Senate out of passing the "Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell Bill."  
Did you ever wonder if .......
 
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
 
Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
 
OK.. So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags," and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," then what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
 
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
 
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
You know you are too stressed if ..................
 
You can travel without moving.

Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty tiff over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the next day.

That's it from your embedded reporter here in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where my two youngest grandsons named our beautiful female Labradoodle puppy - BRUISER!
But, on the other hand ..............
 
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

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