December 21, 2007
Pushing back the frontiers of
Marvelous Mary's Melodic
I wanna hang a map of
the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that
I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners
of the map so it won't fall down.
The difference between genius and
stupidity is that genius has its limits
Alcohol is the irrigation that problems
use to grow and multiply.
Be careful of your thoughts; they may
become words at any moment.
It's a strange world of language in
which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
Stupendous Sarah's Sayings
December is Cut Your Own Christmas Tree
Month [And I hope you have done so by now!]
This is Operation Santa Paws Week
December 23 is . . . Roots Day
December 24 is . . . National Egg Nog Day
December 25 is . . . National Pumpkin Pie Day
December 26 is . . . Boxing Day
December 26 is . . . Kids Afer Christmas Day
December 26 is . . . National Whiners Day
December 27 is . . . National Fruitcake Day [Please be sure to honor the
fruitcake of your choice, today]
December 27 is . . . Make Cut Out Snowflakes Day
December 28 is . . . Card Playing Day
December 28 is . . . National Chocolate Day
December 29 is . . . Pepper Pot Day
December 29 is . . . Tick Tock Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
Who Says There's a Clash of
Civilizations?: "Christians Agree With Muslims They Must Have Goat in New
Breaking News From 1492: "World Is Not
Flat, Academic Says" ---Reuters
Answers to Questions No One Asked:
"George Clooney Says No to Presidency" ---Hollyscoop.com
News of the Tautological: "Credit Card
Use Leads to Rise in Consumer Borrowing" ---Associated Press
IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER: "Cloned Beef --
the Other Red Meat" -- Chicago Tribune headline
Preppy Peter's Puns
A Russian and a Czechoslovakian were out
hunting one day and were attacked and eaten by a Ma Ma Bear and a Pa Pa
Bear. The two bears were finally found and shot. They took both bears back
for an autopsy. They found the Czech was in the male.
Senators William Spong of Virginia and
Hiram Fong of Hawaii sponsored a bill recommending the mass ringing of
church bells to welcome the arrival in Hong Kong of the U.S. Table Tennis
Team after its tour of Communist China. The bill failed to pass, cheating
the Senate out of passing the "Spong-Fong Hong Kong Ping Pong Ding Dong Bell
Did you ever wonder if .......
Ever wonder about those people who spend
$2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian
Isn't making a smoking section in a
restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK.. So if the Jacksonville Jaguars are
known as the "Jags," and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs,"
then what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from
diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
You know you are too stressed if
You can travel without moving.
Antacid tablets become your sole source
You discover the aesthetic beauty of
You begin to talk to yourself, then
disagree about the subject, get into a nasty tiff over it, lose, and refuse
to speak to yourself for the next day.
That's it from your embedded
reporter here in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of The
Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where my two youngest grandsons
named our beautiful female Labradoodle puppy -
But, on the other hand
A lot of church members who are
singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
the Friday's Musings Main Page
the A-1 Associates Main Page