January 4, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
Did you know that when Mike Huckabee was
governor of Arkansas, he had a gift registry where he was registered so that
citizens could send him gifts......................
And on the other side, in a news
conference, Deanna Favre announced that she will be the starting QB for the
Packers next season because she spent the last 16 years married to Brett
Favre while he was QB. Because of this, she understands how to pick up a
corner blitz and knows the terminology of the Packers offense. A poll of
Packer fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move. Does this
sound idiotic and unbelievable to you? Hillary Clinton makes the same
claims as to why she is qualified to be president and 50% of democrats
Meticulous Mary's Melodic
I used to try a lot of different sports
when I was a kid. Then I got older and realized you can *buy* trophies.
Now I'm good at everything.
It's not the pace of life that concerns
me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
If the Ravens had won eight of their
last three games, we would have been in the playoffs!
Lately I find myself forgetting little
things. I think I may have micronesia.
In 1901, Annie Taylor became the first
person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. She was a genius compared to
her son, Ralph Taylor, who went over the side of the Empire State Building
in a barrel in 1932.
Serendipitous Sarah's Silly
January is International Wealth
Mentality Month (I can't make this stuff up!)
This is Silent Record Week
This is also Someday We'll Laugh About
January 6 is...National Smith Day
January 6 is...Organize Your Home Day
[Yeah, that's going to happen]
January 8 is...National Joy Germ Day
January 8 is...Man Watcher's Day [And
I'm watching who's watching]
January 8 is...Show and Tell Day at
Work [No raise this year]
January 9 is...Play God Day
January 10 is...Peculiar People Day
January 11 is...National Step in a
Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is...Feast of Fabulous Wild
Harmonious Hilda's Hilarious
Breaking News From a Long Time Ago:
"Distant Galaxy Threatened by 'Death Star"' ---CBC.ca
We Blame Global Warming: "Norwegian
Cruise Ship Hits Iceberg in Antarctic" ---Associated Press
Help Wanted: "Montgomery Co. Police Seek
Police Impersonators" ---WJZ-TV Web site (Baltimore)
News You Can Use: "How to Survive a Fall
From a 47-Story High-Rise" ---FoxNews.com
"Woman Doesn't Want Dog in Bathroom
During Couple's Shower" ---Associated Press
Al Gore: That's Nothing, I Invented the
Damn Thing: "Kim Jong Il: I'm an Internet Expert" ---Associated Press
Signs your life is about to change .........................
The IRS invites you to a weenie-roast and the invitation begins with "Dear
While surfing the internet, you suddenly get the following dialogue box:
"ICBM launch successful."
You receive an invitation from the Oval Office to "chew the fat".
You hear that your dentist has been arrested for using radio-active material
At the vacant house next door, you notice a U-Haul van and a truck which
looks very similar to the one on the Beverly Hillbillies.
Your twelve-year-old daughter suddenly develops a craving for pickles and
Questions that have yet to be answered ...................
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word Lisp to have a S in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids instead of asteroids?
That's it for this week from your embedded reporter, hiding here in
the outskirts of the City of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples
Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the legislators cheered when they
passed the largest tax increases in the history of the state, making those
who voted for them, the highest taxed citizens in the mid-atlantic
BUT, on the other hand ....................
Life is a series of problems. Either you are in one now, you're just
coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. (Sounds
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it
takes to sit down and listen.
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