There is no problem so big or complicated that it can't be
run away from
The meek shall inherit the earth, but not the mineral rights
Silly Sarah's Stupendous Sayings .................
January is National Yours, Mine and Ours Month
This is National No Name Calling Week
January 27 is...Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day [And, I do!]
January 27 is...Thomas Crapper Day [Insert your own joke here]
January 28 is...National Kazoo Day [Everybody loves a kazoo!]
January 28 is...Clash Day
January 28 is...Rattle Snake Round-Up Day [I always look forward
to this day!]
January 29 is...Freethinkers Day
January 29 is...National Puzzle Day
January 29 is...National Cornchip Day
January 29 is...Freethinkers Day
January 30 is...Inane Answering Message Day
January 30 is...Escape Day [From what?]
January 31 is...National Popcorn Day
January 31 is...Fun at Work Day [Where did you say you work?]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines ....................
HIGHLY LEVERAGED: "Why Pregnant Women Don't Tip Over" -- New York
Breaking News From 1992: "Clinton Unveils Plan to Stimulate Economy"
--- MSNBC.com ++ Breaking News From 2007: "Bush to Propose Plan to
Stimulate Economy"---(Minneapolis) Star Tribune
Breaking News From 28000 B.C.: "Smelly Caveman Worries Nursing Home
Staff"---United Press International
There's No Reason for Such Name-Calling: "Search and Rescue, Sheriff
Butt Heads"---Lewiston (Idaho) Tribune
Wouldn't an iPod Have Been Cheaper?: "Brain Surgery Lets Woman
Listen to Music"---Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Never, Never Spit Gasoline While
Teacher Who Spanked Girls Wants His Job Back"---St. Maries (Idaho)
New Zealand Man Arrested for Driving Lawnmower While
Putative Pauls Puns .......................
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes
to a family in Spain. They name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends
a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she
tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan,
you've seen Amal.
And a bonus round ......................
A brilliant research scientist was finally able to overcome the
obstacles to cloning a human being.
But the experiment didn't turn out very well. The clone was terribly
ugly, and used the most vulgar language the
doctor had ever heard. So he took it to a cliff and pushed it off.
The police, actually saw him get rid of the clone. "You're
under arrest," shouted the officer.
"You can't arrest me," replied the doctor. "I didn't kill anyone.
That was only a creation."
"That may be so," answered the police, "but we have to arrest you
for making an obscene clone fall."
The world's thinnest books ....................
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS by O.J. Simpson
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES by Ted Kennedy
MY BOOK OF MORALS by Bill Clinton with introduction by The Rev.
COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF MILITARY STRATEGY! By Nancy Pelosi
with an introduction from Harry Reid
Did you ever wonder .....................
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale
bread to begin with?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or
actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities - always see
them, for they're always there.