February 8, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
Liberal math at work - On her one
year anniversary as Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi said her greatest
achievement was passage of the energy bill. "This COULD save drivers as
much as $1000 a year."
Of course this will add $4-5000 to
the cost of the manufacture of a car as well as greatly increased
service costs throughout the life of the automobile. (And add to
the cost of monthly payments)
Libs just don't understand
the results of unintended consequences nor do their supporters........
Meticulous Mary's Maundy
The Department of Health and Human
Services officially recognized obesity as a medical illness. Doctors say
symptoms include shortness of breath and 'wideness' of ass
My friends call me lazy because I always
use a cart when I play golf -- but they're probably still angry because of
that time I accidentally ran into the windmill.
Three out of four people make up 75% of
the population according to the after vote surveys
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
I have kleptomania, but I'm taking
something for it.
Sappy Sarah's Serendipitous sayings ......................
February is... National Blah Buster Month
This is Love May Make the World Go 'Round, But Laughter Keeps Us From
Getting Dizzy Week
February 10 is. . . Umbrella Day
February 11 is. . . Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day [So, when can I cry?]
February 11 is. . . Be Electrific Day
February 12 is. . . Darwin Day
February 12 is. . . National Plum Pudding Day
February 12 is. . . Lost Penny Day
February 13 is. . . Get A Different Name Day
February 14 is. . . Ferris Wheel Day [Just try to find one running this
time of the year!]
February 14 is. . . Romance & Remembrance Day
February 15 is. . . National "I Want Butterscotch" Day
February 15 is. . . National Gum Drop Day
February 15 is. . . National Sea Monkey Day
February 16 is. . . National Slap A Cop Day [Just for Eva Gabor]
February 16 is. . . Do A Grouch A Favor Day [It's time you did something
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines .....................
MY NEXT BOOK? A GREAT DEAL AT JUST $300,000: "Want the Public to like Your
Product Better? Raise the Price." -- AP headline
We Blame Global Warming: "Bush Budget Would Nearly Freeze Domestic Spending"
The Audacity of Dope: "Obama: Decriminalize Pot" ---The Washington Times
Isn't That Torture?: "Dems Needle Mukasey on Waterboarding" ---Associated
Be Careful What You Wish For: "Neighbors of Sewage Plant Sue to Block It"
News You Can Use: "Manure Drastically Reduces Development of Lung Cancer"
---Daily Telegraph (Australia)
"Police: Crack Found in Man's Buttocks" ---WTTG-TV Web site (Washington)
Perilous Paul's Ponderous Puns ........................
Two pieces of string meet one day in the park and while one goes on the
slide the other goes on the swings. They're having a great time until one
string decides to go on the roundabout.
After a while, the string feels really dizzy and falls off, scraping across
the tarmac and making as tangled mess of one end and falling in a heap.
The second string looked at him and sighed "you're not very good on that
roundabout are you?"
The first string looked at himself and said "I'm a frayed knot".
At work, I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of dum-dums and slo-pokes. I
think this job at the candy factory is adversely confecting me.
And a bonus ..............
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.
However, all the Swiss league records were unfortunately destroyed in a
fire, and we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
Something to offend everyone .......................
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
Things I don't understand ..............
Puffy Vests (To make people look fat?)
Dressing Up One's Dog (People are cruel/stupid?)
The Appeal of Paris Hilton (People need a Life?)
Chili Fries (To harden arteries faster?)
Wearing Sunglasses That Are Bigger than Your Face (People want to be
That's it for this week from just outside the Woodbine Beltway, on
the fringe of the Lost City of Absurdia, the principle city of the Peoples
Socialistic Republic of Absurdistan, where we tax everything, including our
But, on the other hand .............
When the tide of life turns against you and the current upsets your boat
Don't waste tears on what might have been, just lie on your back and float