February 29, 2008

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance...............

 
While our two major political parties either pay no attention to illegal immigration or actually encourage it our news organizations ignored a truly traitorous act done by the City Council of Berkeley (CA) and encouraged by "Code Pink."  They have thrown out the recruiting office of our U. S. Marines!  Members of Code Pink make all of those nuts in Move-On.Org look like actual citizens. 
 
Yep!  Our volunteers in the U.S.M.C. have been thrown out of the city of Berkeley, California!
 
If that doesn't cause you to go "ugh," how about this?
 
The Republicans wanted to allow you to take a small percentage of your Social Security (your money) and allow you to invest it in securities.  Democrats said "No Way!"   Now, federal government employees who opted out of Social Security and have their money invested in the Thrift Savings Plan [TSP], which allows money to be invested in the stock market, under TSP, federal employees receive $4,500 per month, compared to $1,300 per month for Social Security.

Meticulous Mary's Marvelous Mutterings ................
 
The Spice Girls say they want to play for Nelson Mandela's 90 birthday party. When he heard this he said, 'No thanks, I'd rather go back to prison
 
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments
 
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
 
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?  Because most men are stupid, but very few are blind.
 
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Serendipitous Sarah's Stupendous Sayings ..........................
 
March is Keep Your Shoelaces Tied Month
 
This is Celebrate Your Name Week
 
This is also National Procrastination Week but more about that, later ............
 
March 1 is . . Peanut Butter Lovers Day
 
March 1 is . . National Pig Day 
 
March 2 is . . Namesake Day

March 2 is . . Old Stuff Day 
 
March 3 is . . I Want You To Be Happy Day

March 3 is . . What If Cats and Dogs Had Opposable Thumbs Day
 
March 3 is . . Peach Blossom Day
 
March 4 is . . Hug a GI Day
 
March 4 is . . International Pancake Day
 
March 5 is . . Learn What Your Name Means Day
 
March 5 is . . Multiple Personalities Day   [and we are all going to celebrate!]
 
March 6 is . . National Frozen Food Day
 
March 7 is . . National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
 
March 8 is . . Be Nasty Day
 
March 8 is . . Uppity Women's Day [Yes, I'll pay for this one!]

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Actual Headlines .................
 
THERE HE GOES, DRINKING ALL THE PROFITS AGAIN: "Gas-Pumping Robot: What Could Go Wrong?" -- Reuters headline
 
We Blame George W. Bush: "Hope Dims That Earth Will Survive Sun's Death" ---NewScientist.com
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Unique Solar Probe Freezing to Death" ---Associated Press
 
In Peace!: "Castro 'Relishes Chance to Rest"' ---BBC Web site
 
Holidays in Hell: "Fidel Castro: I'm Ready for a Vacation" ---Associated Press
 
How Many Voters Will Fit on a Swing?: "Bill Clinton Courts Texas Voters in Galveston Swing" ---Houston Chronicle
 
News You Can Use: "Minister to Married Couples: Sex Every Day!" ---CNN.com
Popular Pauline's Ponderous Puns .....................
 
The new Miss Czech Republic could be stripped of her title because she was filmed having sex with her boyfriend two years ago.
 
Competition rules forbid all Miss Czech Republic candidates from having participated in erotic modeling...
 
In other words, no Czech-mating..
 
And a bonus round (just to upset you)
 
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a  voyage and found his name missing from the town  register. His wife insisted on complaining to the  local civic official who apologized profusely  saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

Things I don't understand ....................
 
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
 
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
 
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
 
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
 
They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.
That's it for this week from your embedded reporter, just outside of the famous Woodbine Beltway, a stones throw from the City of Absurdia, the principle murder capital of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the boy governor promised to roll back the increases in energy costs.  How is that working out for you?

But, on the other hand ..............
 
I don't know why some people change churches;  what difference does it make which one you stay home from?

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