April 4, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
Obama has released his tax
records (Hillary still can't find hers) and proved he is a true
liberal! He donated about 1% of his income to charity. Like all
liberals, he wants to give your money to charity and keep his own!
After Spitzer was forced to
leave office in NY, his replacement - David Paterson - immediately
confessed to having numerous sexual affairs. Paterson is blind.
But, in keeping with recent Democrat politics, even being blind
didn't keep him from seeing other women!
Melodic Mary's Meticulous
I can't break my wife of the
habit of staying up until 5 in the morning. She is always waiting
for me to get home
The crime situation in New York
city has gotten so bad that when I was getting off the plane I saw
the pilot putting the 'club' on the steering wheel.
A conscience is what hurts when
all your other parts feel so good.
Whenever I'm beset by problems
that seem insurmountable, I always think to myself: WWJD." Yep,
Woo Woos and Jack Daniel's can get you through pretty much anything.
42.7% of all statistics are made
up on the spot.
Superficial Statements ..............
April is International Twit
April is also National Smile
This is Hate Week [Do I
really have to hate anyone?]
This is also National Civility
week [How did that happen?]
April 6 is Sorry Charlie Day
April 6 is Check Your Batteries
April 6 is National Repot Your
Plant Day [Or is it plant your pot day?]
April 6 is Tartan Day
April 7 is National Workplace
April 7 is No Housework Day
April 8 is All Is Ours Day
April 8 is International Feng
Shui Awareness Day [Did you know that?]
April 9 is Stories Day [Send
your best alibi's to me]
April 9 is Name Yourself Day
April 10 is National Sibling
April 10 is Golfers Day [Bob
H. is in charge!]
April 10 is Vote Lawyers Out of
April 11 is Eight-Track Tape
April 12 is Look Up At The Sky
April 12 is Walk on Your Wild
Side Day [And you know where I will be!]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
IT'S OFFICIAL: "Official
Statistics Say Don't Trust Official Statistics" -- Lancashire
(England) Evening Post headline
Sounds Like a Job for Mrs.
Clinton: "U.S. Envoys' Visit to Pakistan Draws Fire" ---Associated
What a Scoop!: "Exclusive:
Clinton Vows to Push On" ---Time.com
He'll Take What He Can Get:
"Butler Student Rebuffed by Chelsea Clinton Says He Likes Her Mom"
Breaking News From 1597: "Romeo
Is Found Guilty of Murder" ---Ledger (Lakeland, FL)
News You Can Use: "It's Fun to
Imagine a Housing Turnaround" ---St. Petersburg (FL) Times
We Blame Global Warming:
"Census: Texas Is the Hot Place to Live" ---Associated Press ++
"Thick Ice Hinders Controversial Seal Hunt" ---Reuters
Redundancy at Work:
"Chunk of Antarctic Ice Shelf Collapses; Global Warming Blamed"
News You Can Use: "Finally, a
Reason to Start Drinking Alcohol" ---Reuters
Saucy Suzi's Serious
The dead batteries were given
out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer
for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist
fought tooth and nail.
Your embedded reporter, here
in The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan have been
claiming, for years, that Ronald Reagan was right about taxes.
Absurdistan's child governor, Martin O'Malley
pushed through a 20% increase in our sales tax. Said we needed more
tax money. Here is the projected result!
(Direct from the Maryland House of Delegates) Their own
projections show a loss of $43 million in 2008 and $76.9 million
dollars in 2009. Most Democrats are going out of state to
make big ticket purchases. Ronald Reagan was right - what you tax
you get less of.......
But, on the other hand
like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it's not going to