Pushing back the frontiers of
Hillary was supposed to come
here to Absurdia for a Democratic fund raiser last night but she was
pinned down by gunfire in Pennsylvania and couldn't make it.
The latest case of Victomology:
In this ever-shifting, moving bar, Barack Obama will always be the
underdog. No matter how much money he raises, no matter how many
wins he pulls together, no matter how many delegates he accumulates;
he is still the underdog. It's the way it works." ---Michelle Obama
(An actual quote!)
Mercurial Mary's Melodious
Someone stole my identity but
returned it with an apology when they checked it out.
I love being married. It's so
great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest
of your life.
I deserve someone who likes me
for who I am pretending to be
They now have an Italian airline
that flies out of Genoa. It's called Genitalia.
Stupendous Sayings ....................
April is National Smile Month
This is National Egg Salad Week
April 13 is Blame Somebody Else
April 14 is National Pecan Day
April 14 is International Moment
of Laughter Day
April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day
April 15 is National Stress
April 16 is Self Day
April 16 is National Eggs
April 16 is National Stress
April 17 is National Cheeseball
April 17 is Blah, Blah, Blah Day
April 18 is International
April 18 is Eggs, Eggs, Eggs
April 19 is Garlic Day
April 19 is Beyond Rejection
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
Breaking News From 1998:
"Clinton Focusing on Females" ---Chicago Tribune
Why Obama Is Winning: "Study:
Angry Women Viewed as Incompetent" ---Internet Broadcasting
En Garde!: "Government Issues
Waiver for Fencing Along Border" ---The New York Times
We Prefer to Call Them
'Undocumented Primates': "Illegal Marmosets Seek New Home" ---The
With Friends Like These...:
"Infection Nearly Kills Kennewick Man; Friends, Family Help" ---The
News of the Oxymoronic: "Bill
Would Require Parents to Volunteer at Schools" ---WEWS-TV Web site
This is news? "State Democrats
Determined to Raise Taxes" ---Los Angeles Times
Saucy Suzi's Semi-Serious
A bicycle can't stand alone; it
is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit
flies like a banana.
Pretty Paula's Pretentious
A doctor made it his regular
habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home.
The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink
waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the
work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was
out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a
daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his
regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a
"No, I'm sorry", replied the
bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
That's it for this
week from your embedded reporter, just outside the famous Woodbine
beltway and a stone's throw from Absurdia, the principal city of The
People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the state
legislature was to busy to do anything about Absurdia's failed
schools but did find time to pass a law giving Absurdistan it's
official dessert -
The Smith Island Cake!
a final observation, I'm also worried about the state of home
education - my 7 year old grandson was attacked by a Canadian Goose
that was apparently protecting it's nest in a pond nearby. His
actual statement "The bird hit me with it's feet and it's belly
But, on the other hand