May 9,2008

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.........

 
Hillary Clinton appeared on 'The O'Reilly Factor.' That was a great confrontation.     On one side, a loudmouthed bully who wants to tear apart the Democratic Party and on the other side, there's Bill O'Reilly
 
Looking in the mirror: "We don't deal with the serious issues that are in front of us, we try to figure out what's going to poll well and what can we do to get through the next election." ---Barack Obama being unwittingly candid about his campaign
Meticulous Mary's Meritorious Mutterings...................
 
For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.
 
Adam and Eve invented the loose leaf system
 
Only in America do we have a general in charge of the post office and a secretary in charge of defense.
 
How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
 
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
Serendipitous Sarah's Serious Sayings......................
 
May is More Than Just A Pretty Face Month
 
This is National Astrology Week    [I was born under a "for rent" sign]
 
May 11 is . . Eat What You Want Day

May 11 is . . Twilight Zone Day

May 12 is . . Limerick Day

May 13 is . . Leprechaun Day

May 14 is . . National Dance Like A Chicken Day  

May 14 is . . Underground America Day

May 15 is . . National Chocolate Chip Day    [One of my favorites]
 
May 16 is . . Wear Purple  Day  

May 16 is . . National Bike to Work Day    [On the beltway?]

May 17 is . . Pack Rat Day
Haughty Hilda's Hilarious Headlines......................
 
STATE AGENCY FIGURES OUT HOW TO STAY IN BUSINESS FOREVER: "State Regulators Look at Car Dealer Accused of Lying to Customers" -- AP headline
 
Breaking News From 1914: "Gas Engines: Here to Stay" ---CNNMoney.com
 
'OK, We'll Rescue You, but We're Not Happy About It!': "Moody Airmen Rescue Cuban Migrants Found at Sea" ---Air Force Print News
 
Welfare Reform Testimonials: "Jobs: 'Not as Bad as We Thought"' ---CNNMoney.com
 
Help Wanted: "Naked Man Sought" ---Northern Echo (Darlington, England)
 
News You Can Use: "Drinking Dulls the Brain's Response to Threats" ---Reuters 
Saucy Suzi's Scattered Stanzas.........................
 
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
 
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
 
A calendar's days are numbered.
 
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
 
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
Ludicrous Larry's Leavings.....................
 
My wife finally convinced me to sign what's called a living will. It's a document that gives her the right, if I become attached to some mechanical device, to terminate my life. So yesterday, I'm on the exercise bike, and..."
 
 I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast.  Are they kidding?   That's my idea of a perfect day.
Perilous Pauline's Pugnacious Puns.....................
 
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
 
I can't think of any more poetry, she said adversely
 
Why can't a woman ask for help from her brother?   He can't be a brother and assist her, too.  
 
Have you read the new book "Little Fishes" by Anne Chovey?
 
OLD COMPOSERS never die, they just decompose.
 
And a bonus Shaggy Dog story....
 
During rehearsal, the high school Music Director was beside himself. The cymbal player in the band was constantly coming in at the wrong time with his cymbal clash. The young man maintained that his entry point gave a much better effect and that he wouldn't play it as written. When the Music Director was asked by the Principal why he fired the young musician from the band, he replied,  
 
"It was a simple case of cymbal disobedience."  

Books you need to read......................
 
You Always Get Caught" by Sue Nora Later
 
How To Do It; or, Directions for Knowing or Doing Everything Needful; 1864 
 
The Dark At The End Of The Bong, by Bob Newland  
 
Your Friend, The Computer Hacker, by Carolyn Meinel  
 
Industrial Hemp: Fiber, Food and Fuel for the Future, by Chris Conrad  

That is about it for this week from just outside the Woodbine Beltway, just a stone's throw from Absurdia, the principle city of The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where our boy Governor, Martin O'Malley, has not, as yet, been indicted for lying.  One can always hope that justice will be done.....

But, on the other hand ................................
 
Some people grin and bear it. Others smile and change it

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