June 6, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
If McCain or Obama are the answer,
it must have been an extremely stupid question!
If the House of Representatives has
now declared it 'illegal' for the government of Saudi Arabia to restrict
oil production, why is it still legal for the government of the United
States to restrict oil production?
Miss Mary's Marvelous Mutterings..........................
You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones
you want to concentrate on
Neutrons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic
A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the
poor to protect them from each other
I guess what I like most about being
sarcastic is the knowledge that, even if people don't understand my
sarcasm, at least I'm helping them feel better about their lives.
Silly Sarah's Syrupy Sayings..............................
June is "Can you spot Sarah pitching in a softball game?" Month
June is also National Accordion Awareness Month
June 8 is . . . . . Name Your Poison Day
June 9 is . . . . . Donald Duck Day
[and we can't celebrate too much]
June 10 is . . . . National Yo-Yo Day
[who you callin' yo-yo?]
June 10 is . . . . Iced Tea Day
June 11 is . . . . King Kamehameha
Day [For us Hawaii lovers]
June 11 is . . . . National Hug Holiday
June 12 is . . . . Machine Day
June 13 is . . . . National Juggling
June 13 is . . . . Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day
June 13 is . . . . Blame Someone Else
Day [I celebrate this day almost every day]
June 13 is . . . . Sewing Machine Day
June 14 is . . . . Pop Goes The Weasel
Day [Who you callin' a weasel?]
Scrumptious Suzi's Serendipitous Scripts..............
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..........................
THE FINE FOR THAT WILL SURELY COST HIM AN ARM AND A...: "Port St. Lucie Man
Accused of Ripping Wife's Prosthetic Leg off During Fight" -- Port St. Lucie
Breaking News From 1945: "Defensive Errors Cost Germany Victory" ---CNN.com
Dan Rather to Emerge From Retirement?: "CBSSports.com to Launch Fantasy News
Site" ---SportsBusiness Journal
To Be Titled, 'Nothing Happened. No, Really!': "Craig to Pen Book Detailing
Bathroom Incident at Airport" ---FoxNews.com
It's Always in the Last Place You Look: "Man's Body Found in Uptown
Cemetery" ---Dallas Morning News
Doesn't He Have a 'Woman Urge' Everywhere?: "Women Urge on Clinton at SD
Diner" ---Washington Post Web site
Lucky Larry's Leavings........................
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg, depends on the kind
of chick he marries.
When a man marries a woman, they become one but the trouble starts when they
try to decide which one.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, you vacuum the
carpet, and six months later you have to start all over again
Particular Pauline's Perilous Puns........................
Cabbage should be eaten raw. In fact that's Cole's Law.
Did you hear about the guy who took a course at a college on making nativity
scenes? It was a crèche course.
Did jeer about the veterinarian who was barred from performing any surgery
because he suffered from bouts of epilepsy? The cops busted him for
attempting to operate on a sick predatory bird but the case was thrown out
on a technicality. It was an ill eagle surgeon seizure.
And a bonus round...................
"Obama is expected to clinch the majority of the delegates, but there are
delegates, super delegates, pledged delegates, Lemon-Pledge delegates and,
of course, the farmer and the delegates
And a couple of Freaky Factoids for the weekend.....
The animal responsible for the most human deaths worldwide is the mosquito.
A hundred years ago, the average life expectancy in the United States was
Today, only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.
That's about it this week from your embedded reporter lurking
between the Lisbon Beltway and the Absurdia Beltway located in the Peoples
Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the newly adopted state motto is "The
eyes of taxes are upon you!"
But, on the other hand...............