June 13, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
just JUMPED up! Why? The minimum wage increase passed by our
Democratic congress just went into effect! Coincidence? I think
If Obama selects Hillary for veep, his next appointment had better be a
food taster. A Google search for dead Clinton friends in Arkansas will
turn up many that "committed suicide in the woods by shooting themselves
in the BACK of the head. And then there is Vince Foster...
Marvelous Mary's Mutterings..................
Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
My doctor says that I'm not breathing right. This, after nearly 540,000
hours of practice.
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out
the names and addresses of people you don't know.
Most people are unwilling to sell their souls; but they usually aren't
opposed to renting them out for an hour or two.
In English, a double negative forms a positive. There is no language
wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back
of the room piped up, "Yeah, right"
Saporific Sarah's Superior
June is National Ice Tea Month
June 15 is . . . . Smile Power Day
June 16 is . . . . National Hollerin'
Contest Day [Can I suggest a candidate or two?]
June 17 is . . . . Eat Your Vegetables
June 17 is . . . . World Juggler's Day
[The accountants holiday?]
June 18 is . . . . International Panic
June 18 is . . . . Go Fishing Day
June 18 is . . . . National Splurge Day
June 19 is . . . . World Sauntering
Day [So, saunter away!]
June 20 is . . . . Ice Cream Soda Day
June 21 is . . . . Cuckoo Warning Day
June 21 is . . . . Go Skate Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
TEN WORDS CAN BE MORE POWERFUL THAN A
PHOTO: "It's Hell down Here, and the Devil Has a Microphone" -- Sydney
(Australia) Morning Herald headline
Good News Is Always a Surprise: "Weekly
Jobless Claims Unexpectedly Fall" ---Reuters "Productivity Rose at a Pace
That Exceeded Expectations" ---The New York Times "Retailers Post
Surprising Sales" ---The New York Times
Better Late Than Never: "Abstinence
Backers Targeting Parents" ---Contra Costa (CA) Times
Stay Away From Obama Creeps: "Obama
Creeps Past McCain in Opinion Poll" ---Agence France-Presse
News You Can Use: "Life After Hillary:
Moving On After Your Candidate Loses" ---FoxNews.com
Dutch Man Injures Posterior in Mooning
Accident" ---Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Just the Cricket:
Eating Insects Is Good for Us and the Environment, Scientists Claim"
---Evening Standard (London)
Saucy Suzi's Scurrilous
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet
cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden
could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers
because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles,
Single women complain that all good men
are married, All married women complain about their lousy husbands.
Conclusion: There is no such thing as a good man.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I
ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to
take more than one night"
That's about it from your
embedded reporter, lurking near Absurdia, the principal city of The Peoples
Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the murder
rate usually exceeds the high school graduation rate...................
But, on the other hand..................