June 20, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
When the Democrats took over Congress, gasoline was $2.50 a gallon. It
is now over $4.00. I think we should refer to the difference as the
Second Amendment Security for Leftists: "If [Republicans] bring a knife
to the fight, we bring a gun." ---Barack Obama, who also thinks guns
never made anyone safer
"Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not."
~ Thomas Jefferson~
Meticulous Mary's Marvelous Mutterings................
Computers let you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in
human history, with the possible exceptions of guns and tequila.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
If they cloned Cher - would she then be known as Cher and Cher alike
A lot of people wonder how you know if you're really in love. Just ask
yourself this one question: "Would I mind being destroyed financially by
Superficial Sarah's Sensational
June is National Ice Tea Month
June 22 is . . . . National Chocolate Éclair Day [A day I can get
June 23 is . . . . Take Your Dog to Work Day
June 23 is . . . . Swim a Lap Day
June 24 is . . . . Museum Comes To Life Day
June 25 is . . . . Log Cabin Day [Time to move]
June 25 is . . . . National Catfish Day
June 26 is . . . . Beautician's Day
June 26 is . . . . Forgiveness Day [forgive me for mentioning that
it is also my birthday]
June 26 is . . . . National Chocolate Pudding Day [Another important
June 27 is . . . . National Columnists Day
June 27 is . . . . Sun Glasses Day
June 28 is . . . . Paul Bunyan Day
Hilarious Hilda's Happy Headlines....................
FOLLOW YOUR NOSE: "Scientists Isolate Animal Fart Gene" -- Southland
Times (Invercargill, New Zealand) headline
Too Bad You Can't Take It With You: "Refunds Due for Euthanization"
---Jackson (MI) Citizen Patriot
To Quote Harry Reid, 'This War Is Lost': "Barbara Boxer, Zoe Lofgren
Battle 'Brain Drain"' ---Contra Costa (CA) Times Web site
News You Can Use: "Don't Listen to the Liberals---Right-Wingers Really
Are Nicer People, Latest Research Shows" ---Daily Mail (London)
"Amish Buggies No Match for Cars in Collisions" ---Scripps News
"Peacock Dies After Being Hit by Train" ---United News of India
Saucy Suzi's Serendipitous Sensations...........
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
Poor Paula's Perilous Puns...................
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut
daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would
always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was
dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly,
he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and
exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri,
And a short bonus........................
Beautiful legs are sometimes without equal but bow-legs are always
Did you ever wonder........................