October 10, 2008

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.............

 
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.- Ancient Proverb that applies to Obama
 
You know the way a bailout works? Here's the way a bailout works. A failed president and a failed Congress invest $700 billion of your money in failed businesses. Believe me, this can't fail.
 
My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world.  I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it. -- Barack Obama
 
"Slow Joe" Biden said, "Look, all you have to do is go down Union Street with me in Wilmington or go to Katie's restaurant"  That would be tough.  Katie's restaurant has been closed for over ten (10) years!   Now you know why his fellow Senator's call him "Slow Joe" Biden

Merry Miss Mary's Melodious Mutterings.............
 
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.   (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you!)
 
God must love stupid people; He made so many.
 
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
 
No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.
 
Oh, you hate your job?  Why didn't you say so?  There's a support group for that.  It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Serendipitous Sarah's Silly Sayings.....................
 
National Toilet Tank Repair Month
 
This is also National Right Brainers Rule! Month
 
This is National Pet Peeve Week
 
October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day

October 12 is . . . . Destiny Day

October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival Day

October 14 is . . . . Be Bald and Free Day

October 14 is . . . . National Dessert Day

October 15 is . . . . National Grouch Day    [One of my favorites!]

October 16 is . . . . National Boss Day

October 16 is . . . . National Cut Up Your Credit Card Day

October 17 is . . . . Gaudy Day    [Do something GAUDY!]

October 18 is . . . . No Beard Day

October 18 is . . . . Sweetest Day

October 18 is . . . . Evaluate Your Life Day    [Oh! No!]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines....................
 
Cheer Up, Everyone!: "Poll: 60% Say Depression 'Likely"' -CNNMoney.com
 
"Issue of Depression Addressed on Campus" -Spectator (University of Wisconsin, Eau Claire)
 
"Male Depression: Why It's Undiagnosed and What It Looks Like" -Beliefnet.com
 
"Is Depression Robbing Kids' Happiness?" -IBNLive.com (India)
 
"Depression: Does It Cause Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD)?" -wddty.com
 
"Depression Can Be Funny Too" ---Navigator News (Lake Land College, Mattoon, IL)
 
And He and the French Kicked Hezbollah Out!: "Scranton Man Treks to Native Lebanon to Reconnect With Family, Friends" -Times-Tribune (Scranton, PA)
 
Look Out Below!: "Chinese Lawyers Face Pressure to Drop Milk Cases" -Associated Press
 
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: "Drivers Recently Hit by Their Own Cars" -Florida Weekly (Fort Myers)   "Prophylactics Swiped From Mexico Condom-Mobile" -Associated Press
 
News You Can Use: "Study: Voting Could Be Hazardous So Be Careful" -Associated Press
"Dear Parents: Do Not Bring Rabid Bats to School for Show and Tell" ---Pantagraph (Bloomington, IL)
 
No Surprise here!  "4 Weathermen Terrorists Declare Support for Obama" -WorldNetDaily
"Hagel's Wife Endorses Obama" ---Omaha World-Herald
Saucy Suzi's Scrumptious Scatterings....................
 
Foreploy ( v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of 'bedding' another person.
 
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
 
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.
 
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
 
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
 
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Bumper Stickers seen around the Woodbine Beltway....
 
Beer isn't just for breakfast any more.
 
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
 
I have a problem with drinking... two hands and only one mouth
 
First Iraq, then France
 
Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

Rather Neat T-Shirts.....................
 
"Frankly Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)  
 
"That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year 
   old)  
 
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"  
 
"Procrastinate Now."  
 
"Rehab Is for Quitters."  

Your "Community Organizer" and embedded reporter is done for the week!  Our boy governor - Martin O'Malley - has announced that they may have to repossess our state since our rulers have overspent their income.  The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan continues to be Absurdistan.

But, on the other hand............
 
We must learn from the mistakes of others because we won't live long enough to make them all ourselves.

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