November 7, 2008

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.........

 
There is no joy in Muddville tonight!  Franklin Roosevelt began inserting socialism into the "Great American Experiment" in the late 1930's and we now have a President and a Congress that are almost completely Socialist. 
 
Our country can now be as inept and irrelevant as the major European countries have become.

Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Mutterings.............
 
I'm not a fatalist.  But even if I were, what could I do about it?
 
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
 
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
 
Remember the good old days when you could afford everything you owned?
 
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Serendipitous Sarah's Serious Sayings..................
 
November is National Peanut Butter Lover's Month
 
This is National Headache Week
 
November 9 is . . . . . Chaos Never Dies Day

November 10 is . . . . . Forget-Me-Not Day

November 11 is . . . . . Air Day

November 12 is . . . . . National Pizza With The Works Except Anchovies Day

November 13 is . . . . . Guy Faulks Day

November 13 is . . . . . National Indian Pudding Day

November 14 is . . . . . Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day

November 14 is . . . . . American Teddy Bear Day

November 15 is . . . . . National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines...............
 
WELCOME TO THE STATE HOUSE: "What Happens after You Flush? Rhode Island Offers New Tour" -- AP headline
 
His Name Is Obama, You Racist Jerk!: "Where's Osama This Election?" -San Francisco Chronicle Web site
 
Where's Joe the Plumber When You Need Him?: "Obama Addresses Overflow Crowds" -U.S. News & World Report Web site
 
What Would We Do Without Attorneys?: "Attorney Says Killing, Beheading Not 'Normal'" -Associated Press
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Winter Comes Early for Spring Awakening" -CBC.ca
 
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: "Microsoft Says Next Windows Won't Be as Annoying" -Associated Press
 
News You Can Use: "Before Killing, Talk of a Shootout" -New Hampshire Union Leader
 
Redundancy at Work: "Obama Thanks 'Gracious' Press" -Agence France-Presse

Silly Suzi's Strenuous Servings......................
 
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
 
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
 
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
 
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
 
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

Particular Paul's Pernicious Puns.......................
 
A Russian and a Czechoslovakian were out hunting one day and were attacked and eaten by a Ma Ma Bear and a Pa Pa Bear.  The two bears were finally found and shot. They took both bears back for an autopsy. They found the Czech was in the male.
 
What do they call cabs lined up at the Dallas airport?
The yellow rows of taxis. (and if you don't understand this - email me)
 
A bird-hater went to the beach with a pocket full of pebbles to throw at them. He left no tern unstoned.

Bumper Stickers seen around the Woodbine Beltway....
 
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
 
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
 
He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit.
 
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
 
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Freaky Factoids........................
 
In 1920, 57% of Hollywood movies billed the female star above the leading man. In 1990, only 18% had the leading lady given top billing.  
 
In 1969, Midnight Cowboy became the first and only X-rated production to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. (Its rating has since been changed to R.)  
 
In Disney's Fantasia, the Sorcerer's name is Yensid, which is Disney spelled backward.
 
Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and Jim Morrison were all 27 years old when they died.  
Lucky Larry's Leavings.....................
 
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
 
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
 
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

That's it for this week from your local "Community Organizer" and "Embedded Reporter"  lurking in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where our children can't graduate from high school but can vote..........
 But, on the other hand...................
 
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

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