November 14, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
52% of the voters have spoken. Of
those voters, 50% have asked "What can your country do for you" not "What
can you do for your country". The other 50% feel good spending the money of
others to do for those who won't do for themselves.
Merry Mary's Meritorious
Tears: The hydraulic force by which
masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Dictionary: The only place where
success comes before work
It isn't difficult to make a mountain
out of a molehill - just add a little dirt
Vuja Day: The feeling that you've had
The universe consists of 5% protons, 5%
neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons
Serendipitous Sarah's Servile
November is I Am So Thankful Month
This is Pursuit of Happiness Week
November 16 is . . . . . Button Day
November 16 is . . . . . Eighteenth
Century Threshing Day [Get ready for this one!]
November 17 is . . . . . John B. Ford
Day... [for us Pennsyltukians]
November 17 is . . . . . Take A Hike Day
November 17 is . . . . . Coping With
November 17 is . . . . . Homemade Bread
November 18 is . . . . . Occult Day
November 18 is . . . . . Married To A
Scorpio Support Day
November 19 is . . . . . Have A Bad Day
November 20 is . . . . . Absurdity Day
November 20 is . . . . . Name Your PC
November 21 is . . . . . False
November 21 is . . . . . World Hello Day
November 22 is . . . . .Start Your Own
Country Day [and it's about time!]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
Another Typical Day In California: "Man
Arrested in Santa Cruz with Beer Keg, Harmonica, Wet Suit, and
Hallucinogenic Mushrooms" -Santa Cruz (Calif.) Sentinel headline
If They Do Say So Themselves: "Media
Bias Largely Unseen in US Presidential Race" -Reuters
'No, We Can't': "Obama Aides Tamp Down
Expectations" -The New York Times
Maybe They Should Stop Burning Cash:
"Carmakers Report Losses as They Burn Cash"-New York Times Web site
And So Close to Thanksgiving: "Duchess
of York Accused of Smearing Turkey's Image" -Reuters
You Only Live Twice: "Skydiver Dies in
Second Fatal Jump at Virginia Airport in 2 Months" -FoxNews.com
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of
"Monks Brawl at Christian Holy Site in Jerusalem" -Associated Press
"Marijuana Aroma Detected at Obama's
Hollywood Celebration Rally" -Breitbart.tv
Surprise, Surprise! "Obama Picks an
Ally as Chief of Staff" --Austin American-Statesman
Newspaper item: "Sale of liquor banned
on military reservations." Who wants to see the bases loaded?
Gentleman Gym's Geriatric
Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham
Lincoln, was present at the assassinations of three presidents: his
father's, President Garfield's, and President McKinley's. After the last
shooting, he refused ever to attend a state affair again.
When Mark Twain was born on Nov 30,
1835, Halley's comet was visible over Florida, Missouri. Mark Twain
predicted in 1909 that he would die when it returned. He was right. When he
died on April 21, 1910, Halley's comet was once again visible in the sky.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard's fish was named
Bumper Stickers seen around the
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
(The following bumper sticker was Seen
Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are
Timed For 70 mph
Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No
Shirt, No Charge
Ax Me About Ebonics.
Saucy Suzi's Satisfying
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake
in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The
Ice too Long?
What Do You Call a Boomerang That
What Do You Call Cheese That isn't
What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
That's it from your unpaid "Neighborhood Organizer", lurking in the
outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of "The People's Democratic
Republic of Absurdistan." BTW, did you know.........
The new 2009 one dollar coin omits the "In God
We Trust" motto. Refuse to take this coin in change! (The "CHANGE"
But, on the other hand.............