November 21, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
Investors are just starting to
realize that General Motors is a health care provider that makes cars on
Earlier this week, the heads of the
GM, Ford, and Chrysler appeared together in front of Congress to ask for
a $25 billion bailout. When asked what they would do with the money, all
three said, “Buy a new BMW.”
Meticulous Mary's Marvelous Mutterings...................
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?
The Department of Health and Human Services officially recognized
obesity as a medical illness. Doctors say symptoms include shortness of
breath and 'wideness' of ass
Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Sappy Sarah's Serious Sayings....................
November is National Vegan Month
This is National Far-City Week [whatever that is!]
November 23 is . . . . . National Cashew Day
November 24 is . . . . . Use Even If Seal Is Broken Day
November 25 is . . . . . National Parfait Day
November 26 is . . . . . What Do You Love About America? Day
November 27 is . . . . . Pins And Needles Day
November 27 is . . . . . Turkey-Free Thanksgiving Day
November 28 is . . . . . Make Your Own Head Day
November 28 is . . . . . Buy Nothing Day
November 29 is . . . . . Square Dance Day
November 29 is . . . . . Electronic Greetings Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
BAD DOG! BAD! "Driving Dog Has Accident
at Car Wash" -- Pryor (Oklahoma) Daily Times headline
It's Always in the Last Place You Look:
"Ancient Pyramid Found in Egypt" - Press Association (England)
An Amazing Display of Self-Control:
"Edwards Avoids Affair in First Speech Since Scandal" -FoxNews.com
Human Rights Groups Are Still Executing
People?: "Taliban Calls on Human Rights Groups to Stop Executions" -Daily
We Hope It Still Pays Off Next Season
When We Get Around to It: "This Season, Procrastination May Pay Off" -The
New York Times
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of
"Climate Change Threatening Lemmings" --Christian Science Monitor Web site
"Hillary Clinton Eyed for Secretary of State" --Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Texting While Driving
Is Bad, Doctors Agree" --Reuters
Redundancy at Work: "Additional
Votes Have No Effect on Harris Co. Election Results" --Houston Chronicle
Jentleman Jim's Jerky Jottings..................
What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? - Quattro Sinko.
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? - Spoiled Milk.
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? - Frostbite.
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? - A Nervous Wreck.
Ponderous Pauline's Puns...........
Scientists at MIT have reportedly announced that they have discovered a new
species of weevil that feeds solely on the cotton fibers in men's shorts.
The researchers have no idea where the species originated, and are appealing
to the general public, as well as the rest of the scientific community for
any information that would help identify the insect. They are anxious to
identify what weevil lurks in the shorts of men
Sam the Clam ran a place that featured go-go dancing. After playing a gig at
Sam's, the harpist in one of the bands realized that he had forgotten to
take his harp with him. Said the musician: "I left my harp in Sam Clam's
Leaning Larry's Leavings.................
Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous 45 second shower scene in
Alfred Hitchcock's movie, Psycho, which actually took 7 days to shoot.
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
George Harrison, with "My Sweet Lord," was the first Beatle to have a Number
1 hit single following the group's break-up.
Movie detective Dirty Harry's badge number is 2211
Sappy Suzi's Stutterings................
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Bumper Stickers seen around the Woodbine Beltway....
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Ax me about Ebonics
That's it from your "Community Organizer" for this week, here in
Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of
Absurdistan where the average public school student will be eating turkey on
Thursday but can't spell it!
But, on the other hand...................