December 26, 2008
Pushing back the frontiers of
sooooo relieved. Obama investigated himself and while he admits he did talk
to the Governor of New York about appointing Caroline Kennedy to Hillary's
vacant seat, he did not talk to his own Governor of Illinois about who
should fill his own vacant seat.
Richard Nixon did the exact same thing.........
Felt, the traitor, died this year. You may
remember him as "Deep Throat." He was the man in charge of the illegal
"black bag" jobs done by the FBI. Why did he squeal on the president?
Because Nixon did not appoint him the head of the FBI when Hoover died.
Meticulous Mary's Melodic Meanderings..............
I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't
intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the
A fine is a tax for doing wrong - a tax is a fine for doing well.
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for
it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their
kids pay for it."
You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that
out of the 3 R's, only one begins with an R.
Salacious Sarah's Strict Stipulations....................
December is... Bingo's Birthday Month
This is... It's About Time Week
December 28 is . . . Card Playing Day
December 28 is . . . National Chocolate Day
December 29 is . . . Pepper Pot Day
December 29 is . . . Tick Tock Day
December 30 is . . . Make Up Your Mind Day
December 30 is . . . Festival of Enormous Changes At The Last Minute Day
December 30 is . . . National Bicarbonate of Soda Day [Shouldn't this be
December 31 is . . . Unlucky Day
January 1 is...Get A Life Day
January 1 is...First Foot Day
January 2 is...Run Up the Flagpole and See if Anybody Salutes It Day
January 2 is...Happy Mew Year for Cats Day
January 3 is...Festival of Sleep Day
January 3 is...National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day
January 3 is...Festival of Sleep Day
Happy Harry's Hilarious Headlines....................
NAUGHTY, NOT NICE: "Father Christmas Was Punched in His Grotto" - Dorset
(England) Echo headline
PIPELINE RAPTURED (Ghanaian Times).
UNDERTAKER'S FAILURE - Let Down By Customers (Yorkshire paper).
CHANNEL SWIM ATTEMPT - Boston Girl's Arrival in Liverpool (Liverpool
POLICE FOUND SAFE UNDER BLANKET (Gloucestershire Echo).
Good Luck With That: "Bush Aid Plan Pushes Peaceful, Democratic Palestine"
Watergate Was Bush's Fault Too!: "Rove Strategy Paper Found in Nixon
Archive" -The New York Times
Never Bring a Knife to a Gunfight: "India Seen Sticking to Guns at U.S.
Nuclear Talks" -Reuters
That's a Pretty Good Job for a Fish: "Grouper to Serve as Online Talent
Agency" -Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Automatic Toilet Tissue Dispenser Ready" -Associated
News You Can Use: "Finding Toilet at Mardi Gras a Challenge" -Associated
Worst Notable-Quotable of 2008 "As violence falls in Iraq, cemetery workers
feel the pinch" -McClatchy News Service
Can't We Blame Bush?: "When Gas Prices Go Up, Blame Dean" -Detroit Free
Palacious Paul's Predictable Puns..................
There is No Plate Like Chrome for the Hollandaise.
The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Conference. He
acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be
an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whisky maker's daughter, but I loved her still.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a
weapon of math disruption.
Lucky Larry's Litigious Leavings.....................
TOOTHACHE - The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW - One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today.
YAWN - An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES - Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
Sappy Suzi's T-Shirts.........................
Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multitalented - I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of place to hide the bodies.
Gentleman Gym's Generic Gems................
Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him.
Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers.
Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog.
What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka.
That's it for this week from your "community organizer" lurking in
the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic
Republic of Absurdistan where the boy governor is laying off people but
buying more land for the state to mismanage.
But, on the other hand...................