January 2, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
The Libs want to tax you and give your
money to the unions and those unwilling to work
The RINO wing of the stupid party wants
to tax you and give your money to Wall Street and corporations.
Merry Mary's Meritorious
I started to write a book about writer's
A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman
who used to think she liked children.
Law of probability: The probability of
being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
It used to be only death and taxes. Now,
of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
She was only a whisky maker's daughter,
but he loved her still.
Superficial Sarah's Serious
January is Bread Machine Baking Month
This is New Year's Resolutions Week
[If they last that long]
January 4 is...Dimpled Chad Day
January 4 is...Tom Thumb's Birthday
January 4 is...National Spaghetti Day
January 4 is...Humiliation Day
January 4 is...Trivia Day
January 5 is...Bird Day
January 6 is...Fruitcake Toss Day
January 6 is...Bean Day
January 6 is...National Smith Day
January 6 is...Organize Your Home Day
January 7 is...Old Rock Day
January 7 is...I'm Not Going To Take It
January 8 is...National Joy Germ Day
January 8 is...Man Watcher's Day
January 8 is...JRR Tolkien's Birthday
January 8 is...National English Toffee
January 8 is...Show and Tell Day at Work
January 9 is...Play God Day
January 9 is...National Static
January 10 is...Peculiar People Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..........
CAUSE AND EFFECT: "Deputies: Man Flunks Drug Test, Steals Fridge Full of
Urine" -- Gainesville (Fla.) Sun headline
Global Warming Strikes Again: "Snow to Leave Before Bush" ---Associated
'May God Strike Me Dead. On Second Thought, May He Not.': "Woman Saved From
Lightning by Flip-Flops" ---Associated Press
Dude, the Interchange Looks Just Like a Big Leaf!: "Stoner Presents
Harmony/I-25 Plan" ---Northern Colorado Business Report
Good Thing It Isn't Thanksgiving: "Team USA Burns Turkey" ---Charlotte (NC)
But All They Attracted Was Flies: "Schools Offer Free Water, Garbage to
Attract Teachers" ---WRAL-TV Web site (Raleigh, NC)
Who Says There's a Clash of Civilizations?: "Christians Agree With Muslims
They Must Have Goat in New Jersey" ---Bloomberg
But Arraigned in Orange Jumpsuit:
"Albany Man Arrested in Tuxedo on Pot Charge" ---Journal News (White Plains,
Most Desperate Man in History: "NBC Exec
Says He'll Do Anything to Get Rosie O'Donnell" ---FoxNews.com
Bottom Story of the Day: "Fortunetellers
Did Not See Dead Raccoons, Car Vandalism in Salem's Future" ---FoxNews.com
Particular Paul's Perilous Puns...................
Once a year, the collectors of antique tents in Germany get together for a
rally. Last year, the organizers decided to hold it in Meinz.
Unfortunately, the local burghers took a dim view of so great an influx of
tourists ruining their turf with tent pegs. The citizens organized
themselves so thoroughly that they even had an anthem: "Let Old and Quaint
Tents Be Forgot and Never Brought to Meinz!"
I know a man, his name is Lang,
And he has a neon sign.
And Mister Lang is very old,
So they call it Old Lang's Sign.
Saucy Suzie See's T-Shirts........................
Next mood swing..6 minutes.
I hate everybody and you're next
Please don't make me kill you.
And your point is...?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
Gentleman Gym's Generic Genius..................
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now
Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
Lucky Larry's Things not to say out loud...................
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of beans.
I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to Pronounce.
How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in Public.
I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it My way.
That's it for this week from your "community organizer" lurking
around the Lisbon Beltway, close to Absurdia, the principle corrupt city of
The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the crooked Mayor got
caught by talk radio taking a wage raise while cutting city
But, on the other hand...............