January 9, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
Sad commentary: "Quietly, as the United
States presidential election and its aftermath have dominated the news,
America's three broadcast network news divisions have stopped sending
full-time correspondents to Iraq." --The New York Times
The deficit doctors have their scalpels
out all right, but they're not poised over the budget. That's as fat as ever
and getting fatter. What they're ready to operate on is your wallet.......
And the stupid party (Republicans) did
nothing to stem Socialism, again.
Marvelous Mary's Meticulous
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
After all is said and done, more is said
Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a
light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Gravity is a myth; Earth sucks.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts
are just missing.
Super Sarah's Serious
This is Coffee Gourmet International
This is Someday We'll Laugh About This
January 11 is...National Step in a Puddle
and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is...Feast of Fabulous Wild
Men Day [Remember my name!]
January 13 is...National Clean Off Your
Desk Day [Yeah, that could happen]
January 13 is...Make Your Dream Come True
January 13 is...Blame Someone Else Day
January 13 is...Penguin Awareness Day
January 14 is...National Dress Up Your
January 15 is...Champion of the Month Day
January 15 is...Hat Day
January 15 is...Humanitarian Day
January 15 is...Just Do It! - Make a
January 16 is...Hot and Spicy Food
January 16 is...Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 16 is...National Nothing Day
January 17 is...Judgment Day [This is
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
Our New Year's Resolution: Watch More
Television: "Reading Raises Property Taxes 5 Percent" -Reading (PA) Eagle
We Blame Global Warming: "Twin Cities
Streets an Icy Mess; Who's to Blame?" -Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
Not to Mention Guns and Religion: "In
Tough Times, Americans Cling to Christmas Trees"-Reuters
Wow, That Is Turbulent!: "Oil Rises on
Quiet Trading to Cap Turbulent Year" -Associated Press, Dec. 31 ++ "Oil
Falls on Quiet Trading to Cap Turbulent Year" -Associated Press, Dec. 31
News You Can Use: "Forget the Economy:
Killer Asteroids Could Pose Real Danger" --McClatchy Newspapers
Redundancy at Work:
"Obama-Inspired Hope Goes Only So Far in Kenya" --Los Angeles Times
Particular Paul's Perilous Puns...........
A day without wordplay is a day without punshine
It's hard to believe that Lucy and I are actually getting married,
considering the fact that her multi-millionaire father owns the local NFL
franchise, and I'm just a lowly, underpaid member of the grounds crew,
relegated to painting the team logo on the field, which is actually a fairly
difficult job, what with all the little flairs, curlicues and swooshes I
have to deal with, not to mention the texture of the turf itself, relative
humidity and all the foot traffic that it gets. But I dye grass.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once
again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
Gentleman Gym's Generous Gems...................
Ambivalence...Could be yes ... or it could be no.
Amnesia ... I forget.
Amorous ... I love the way you ask that question.
Apathetic ... Who cares?
Apologetic ... Sorry you have to ask me that.
Litigious Larry's T-Shirt Sightings................
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
I am out of estrogen, and I have a gun.
That's it for this week from your "Community Organizer" located
strategically away from Absurdia, the principle city of The People's
Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the Governor continues to lay off
people and buy trees..............
But, on the other hand................