January 16, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
Well, President Bush proved that he was
the most unaware president ever - he thanked the press! The very people
who, though much less educated than he was, portrayed him as stupid, inept
and a liar.
The biggest lie he told was to call
Islam a peaceful religion. He obviously never read the Koran which states
"convert them or kill them." The same people that wipe their butts with
their fingers but won't touch pork and are willing to strap explosives upon
themselves and blow up innocent civilians.
Marvelous Mary's Meticulous
Buffet - A French word that means "Get
up and get it yourself."
Don't join dangerous cults: practice
A picture is worth a thousand words, but
it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Deja grew: The feeling you've gained
weight this way before.
Most people don't know what they're
doing, and a lot of them are really good at it
Syrupy Sarah Stringent
(and a Happy Anniversary to
This is National Be On-Purpose Month
This is Bald Eagle Appreciation Days
[Have one for dinner!]
January 18 is...Creole Heritage Day
January 18 is...Winnie the Pooh Day
January 19 is...Penguin Awareness Day
[Do you have one in your neighborhood?]
January 20 is...National Buttercrunch
January 20 is...National Hugging Day
January 21 is...Rid The World of Fad
Diets and Gimmicks Day
January 21 is...Squirrel Appreciation
January 22 is...National Answer Your
Cat's Question Day
January 22 is...National Blonde Brownie
January 22 is...National Compliment Day
January 22 is...National Handwriting Day
January 23 is...Snowplow Mailbox Hockey
January 23 is...National Pie Day
January 23 is...Rid the World of Fad
Diets and Gimmicks Day
January 23 is...Measure Your Feet Day
January 24 is...The Most Depressing Day
of the Year
January 24 is... Eskimo Pie Patent Day
[For all of us Isley Dairy fans!]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
"AGAIN"?! "Woman Sets Herself on Fire at
Church Again" - Nashville Tennessean headline
Bad News for John McCain: "Grizzlies
Maul Mavericks in Memphis" -Associated Press
'F--- This Impeachment S---':
"Blagojevich to Swear in Senate, Then Members Start His Trial" -Chicago
We Blame Global Warming: "Deutsche Ban
ICE Train Brakes Freeze" -Local (Germany)
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of
Control: "Bat, Maggot Invasion Ruins Australian Couple's $30,000 Wedding"
News You Can Use: "Financial Crisis:
Boring Jobs Are Still Jobs - So Be Thankful" -Daily Telegraph (London)
Bottom Story of the Day: "New Jersey UFO
Likely a Hoax" -LiveScience.com
Particular Paul's Perilous
Once upon a time Old King Cole issued an
order to his cooks. "From now on," he decreed, "chopped cabbage must be
mixed with mayonnaise." To this day his decree is known as Cole's Law
Are you wearing your golfing socks? The
pair with a hole in one.
When the lumberjack accidentally let his
chainsaw slip he quickly became lacked toes intolerant
And a bonus round............
Once upon a time there was a woman who
decided to open a tea room. She picked an ideal location and pretty soon
business was booming. Then she got greedy and thought she would skimp on
the ingredients and make more profit. She found that she could use her tea
bags over and over and nobody seemed to notice. But soon, her customers got
fed up with weak tea. Her business failed and after a while she was
The Moral Of The Story: Honest tea is the best policy.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Bumper
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go
Lucky Larry didn't say out
I'm out of my mind, but feel free to
leave a message.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
It sounds like English, but I can't
understand a word you're saying.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape
over your mouth.
I will always cherish the initial
misconceptions I had about you.
This week, the Mayor of
Absurdia, Sheila Dixon the first female black mayor was indicted on many,
many counts of fraud, theft, imitating a human being, etc. Among the
counts was stealing and using gift cards donated to be given to the poor
children of Absurdia for Christmas. So, life does not change in The
People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan..............
But, on the other hand.............