January 31, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.............

 
All U.S. taxpayers would enjoy the same immunity from IRS penalties and interest as Rep. Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.) and Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner under a bill introduced Wednesday by Republican Rep. John Carter of TexasIt's only fair................
 
President Barack Obama was the first president to miss the Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball, which recognizes Medal of Honor recipients.
Merry Mary's Melodious Mutterings.................
 
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
 
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
 
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
 
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it sure works.
 
I wanted to exercise this morning but it just didn't work out.

Sinful Sarah's Sensational Sayings..................
 
February is... National Blah Buster Month,  
   &
February is... International Twit Award Month
 
This is Publicity for Profit Week!  [at Last]
 
February 1 is. . . Serpent Day  
 
February 1 is. . . Robinson Crusoe Day

February 2 is. . . Groundhog Shadow Day [For us Penciltuckians!]

February 2 is. . . National Mental Health Day    [How about at least a month for this.......]

February 3 is. . . Cordova Ice Worm Day

February 4 is. . . Create A Vacuum Day  

February 4 is. . . Dump Your Significant Jerk Day

February 5 is. . . Disaster Day  

February 5 is. . . Weatherman's Day

February 6 is. . . Lame Duck Day  

February 6 is. . . Pay A Compliment Day

February 7 is. . . Charles Dickens Day  
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.....................
 
You don't want to be her dream man "Woman Fires Shotgun into Wall While Asleep" - Fargo (N.D) Forum headline
 
Looks as if the Honeymoon's Over: "Rotten Canned Fish Linked to the Democrats" --Bangkok Post
 
And You Thought College Was Expensive: "Full-Day Kindergarten Will Cost Millions" --Muskegon (MI) Chronicle
 
News of the Tautological: "A New Day Dawns for America, World" --St. Petersburg Times
 
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: "Former French President Chirac Hospitalized After Mauling by His Clinically Depressed Poodle" --Daily Mail (London)
 
We Blame Global Warming: "As Challenges Mount, Ardor for Obama Cools Abroad" --Associated Press
 
Except for the Northern Hemisphere, Where It's Winter: "Study: Antarctica Joins Rest of Globe in Warming" --Associated Press
Penitent Paul's Perilous Puns....................
 
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
 
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
 
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
 
Two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the other a retired professor of history were sitting around on the porch of a hotel in the Catskills, watching the sun set. The professor of history said to the professor of psychology, "Have you read Marx?" To which he professor of psychology said, "Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs!"

Gentleman Jim's Gems & Bumper Stickers................
 
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted
 
"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
 
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
 
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
 
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Lucky Larry's Leavened Leavings...................
 
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
 
What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
 
How Are a  Texas Tornado And a  Tennessee Divorce The Same? 
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer. 
 
Always keep several get well cards on the mantel.
If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
That's it for this week from your "Neighborhood Organizer" marveling that the Mao shirted politicians of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan can watch the citizens of Illinois oust a Governor for trying to make an extra buck but not apply the same tactics to our own Governor for being a stupid fraud...........

But, on the other hand....................
 
Unless you change how you are, you'll always have what you've got

Return to the Friday's Musings Main Page

Return to the A-1 Associates Main Page