Merry Mary's Melodious Mutterings.................
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it sure works.
I wanted to exercise this morning but it just didn't work out.
Sinful Sarah's Sensational Sayings..................
February is... National Blah Buster Month,
February is... International Twit Award Month
This is Publicity for Profit Week! [at Last]
February 1 is. . . Serpent Day
February 1 is. . . Robinson Crusoe Day
February 2 is. . . Groundhog Shadow Day [For us Penciltuckians!]
February 2 is. . . National Mental Health Day [How about at least a month
February 3 is. . . Cordova Ice Worm Day
February 4 is. . . Create A Vacuum Day
February 4 is. . . Dump Your Significant Jerk Day
February 5 is. . . Disaster Day
February 5 is. . . Weatherman's Day
February 6 is. . . Lame Duck Day
February 6 is. . . Pay A Compliment Day
February 7 is. . . Charles Dickens Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.....................
You don't want to be her dream man "Woman Fires Shotgun into Wall While
Asleep" - Fargo (N.D) Forum headline
Looks as if the Honeymoon's Over: "Rotten Canned Fish Linked to the
Democrats" --Bangkok Post
And You Thought College Was Expensive: "Full-Day Kindergarten Will Cost
Millions" --Muskegon (MI) Chronicle
News of the Tautological: "A New Day Dawns for America, World" --St.
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: "Former French President
Chirac Hospitalized After Mauling by His Clinically Depressed Poodle"
--Daily Mail (London)
We Blame Global Warming: "As Challenges Mount, Ardor for Obama Cools Abroad"
Except for the Northern Hemisphere, Where It's Winter: "Study: Antarctica
Joins Rest of Globe in Warming" --Associated Press
Penitent Paul's Perilous Puns....................
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Two old men, one a retired professor of psychology and the other a retired
professor of history were sitting around on the porch of a hotel in the
Catskills, watching the sun set. The professor of history said to the
professor of psychology, "Have you read Marx?" To which he professor of
psychology said, "Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs!"
Gentleman Jim's Gems & Bumper Stickers................
Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted
"IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Lucky Larry's Leavened Leavings...................
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.
Always keep several get well cards on the mantel.
If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to
That's it for this week from your "Neighborhood Organizer" marveling
that the Mao shirted politicians of The Peoples Democratic Republic of
Absurdistan can watch the citizens of Illinois oust a Governor for trying to
make an extra buck but not apply the same tactics to our own Governor for
being a stupid fraud...........
But, on the other hand....................