February 8 is. . . Laugh and Get Rich Day
February 9 is. . . Man Day [Oh Yeah!]
February 9 is. . . Toothache Day
February 9 is. . . National DAV (Develop Alternative Vices)
February 10 is. . . Umbrella Day
February 11 is. . . White Tee-Shirt Day
February 11 is. . . Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
February 11 is. . . Be Electrific Day
February 12 is. . . Darwin Day [But it has changed!]
February 12 is. . . National Plum Pudding Day
February 12 is. . . Lost Penny Day
February 13 is. . . Get A Different Name Day
February 14 is. . . Ferris Wheel Day
February 14 is. . . National Have a Heart Day
February 14 is. . . Race Relations Day [NASCAR improves it's image
February 14 is. . . Romance & Remembrance Day [I remember romance........]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
LISTEN UP: "I'll Just Let this Brick Do
the Talking for Me" - Memphis (Tenn.) Commercial Appeal headline
Questioning the Obama Administration's
Patriotism: "Biden Calls Paying Higher Taxes a Patriotic Act" -MSNBC.com, 18
We Blame Global Warming: "Punxsutawney
Phil Sees Shadow, Winter to Continue" -Associated Press
Headlines Al Gore Would Like to See:
"Hellishly Hot Planet Hits Highs of 2,240 Degrees Fahrenheit" -FoxNews.com
Nothing Gets Past Tony Blair: "Tony
Blair: International Strategy on Gaza Hasn't Worked" -Ha'aretz
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of
Control: "Palin, Obama to Share Stage" -Politico.com
News You Can Use:
"It's the Economy, Girlfriend" -The New
"Failure Is Always an Option" --Slate.com
Lucky Larry's Luxurious Levity................
Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period....
Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high....
Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it....
Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late....
Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness....
Particular Paul's Perilous Puns....................
Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll. They
were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older,
something with which all you youths must deal eventually. One woman
complained that she remained an 'apple-shape' and the other said that no
matter how much she exercised, there was too much poundage on her backside
and thighs. It almost seemed like it was there to stay.
Her buddy agreed, saying, "It's true. The lard works in mysterious ways."
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his
grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
Sappy Suzi's Stupendous Stutterings................
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
Gentleman Gym's Generic Bumper Sticker
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
That's it from your own "community organizer" lurking near Absurdia,
the principle city of The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where
the Mayor, Sheila Dixon, wants us to pay for her legal defense while she
"works 24/7 for the people."
But, on the other hand.....................