March 20, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of ignorance.................

 
A public hearing for a proposed Connecticut law that would take Catholic Church governance out of the hands of Catholic clergy has been cancelled
 
"Five percent of the Taliban is incorrigible, not susceptible to anything other than being defeated. Another 25 percent or so are not quite sure, in my view, the intensity of their commitment to the insurgency. And roughly 70 percent are involved because of the money, because of them being -- getting paid." --Vice President Joe Biden 
 
The U.S. Chief Information Officer Vivek Kundra, appointed by President Obama last week, has been placed on leave, following an FBI raid yesterday at the District of Columbia’s IT offices.
 
I couldn't make up this stuff!  Welcome to "Change you can believe in!"
Merry Mary's Mirthful Murmurings....................
 
You can observe a lot just by watching.
 
I miss the good old days, when America was just morally bankrupt
 
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.
 
The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board is spending more than $173,000 on training to try to make its 4,000 clerks friendlier. Wouldn't it be cheaper just to give them free samples?
 
I decided it was time to lose weight when I realized that none of my towels fit.

Sappy Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings..................
 
This is National Peanut Month
 
This is National Pancake Week
 
March 22 is . . As Young As You Feel Day

March 22 is . . National Goof-off Day  

March 22 is . . International Day of the Seal

March 23 is . . Near Miss Day    [practice your horse shoes]

March 23 is . . National Organize Your Home Office Day   [Yeah, that's going to happen!]

March 23 is . . National Chip and Dip Day

March 24 is . . National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day  

March 25 is . . Pecan Day and Waffle Day    [The daily double!]

March 26 is . . Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

March 26 is . . Spinach Festival Day

March 27 is . . National "Joe" Day 

March 28 is . . Something On A Stick Day 

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..................
 
YOU CAN BET THE OFFICER DIDN'T PUT IT QUITE THIS WAY IN HIS REPORT: "Cop Makes Arrest in Bathroom after Smelling Crack" - AP headline

'How He Got in My Underwear, I'll Never Know': "Man Wrestles 'Lunatic Ninja' Kangaroo in His Underwear" -3news.co.nz
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Hot Air Linked to Headaches, but How?" -CNN.com
 
In Case Hell Freezes Over: "Satan, Penguins Working on New Deal" -Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
 
Life Imitates the Onion:
"Annoying Stickler Insists on Every Detail of Space Mission Being Exactly Right" -Onion, 6 February
"Gas Leak Postpones Space Shuttle Discovery Launch" -Associated Press, 11 March
 
Same old same old: "France Set to Raise Drinking Age" --The Wall Street Journal
 
Is this for real?: "Maldives President Vows Carbon Neutral Nation" --Associated Press

Superior Suzi's Strenuous Samplings.....................
 
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
 
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
 
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
 
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
 
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Gentleman Jim's Generic Jottings......................
 
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
 
Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
 
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
 
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

Passive Paul's Purple Puns..................
 
Juan and his identical twin brother had some pictures taken of themselves. When the pictures were ready, the boys' mother went to pick them up. The clerk gave her twelve pictures in all and so she asked, "Which ones are which?"  "Of course," the clerk replied, "It's six of Juan, half dozen of the brother"

Back in one of the old Chinese dynasties the towns had gongs that would be rung every two hours: At 8 am once, 10 am twice, noon thrice, 2 pm four times, etc. The lawyers of the day would stretch out the trials as much they could to make more money The judges became extremely bored with the status quo and went to the emperor, getting a proclamation that all trials would have to be concluded at 2 pm. Thereafter, all trials ended with a four-gong conclusion.
 
Cabbage should be eaten raw. In fact, that's Cole's Law.

Looney Larry's Lively Leavings....................
(and his Hallmark Cards)
 
Forget about the past, You can't change it.
Forget about the future, You can't predict it:
Inside:  Forget about the present, I didn't buy you one

"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the heck was I thinking?"
 
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me."
 
"As you grow older, Mom, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
 
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!! I never knew what evil was before this!"

That's it for this week from your "neighborhood organizer" where our motto continues to be "The Problem with Socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.........."

But, on the other hand....................
 
It's our attitude in life that determines life's attitude toward us.

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