March 27, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
Here is a gift for your children and
your grandchildren - The nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) says
that President Obama’s budget and deficit projections are too
low. The president’s budget will incur $9.3 trillion in federal deficits
between 2010 and 2019 --$2.3 trillion higher than Obama had originally
The government had to bail out two huge
companies, and today they strongly hinted that they'd bail out others... at
taxpayers' expense of course. It's all part of a new approach that leaders
in the White House and Congress are taking — it's called socialism.
And the Republicans, known as the stupid
party, have not offered a budget of any kind as yet. Guess they are busy
Meticulous Mary's Mercurial
Most people don't know what they're
doing, and a lot of
them are really good at it.
may not be perfect yet but I'm so close it scares me!
What do you call the wife of a Hippie? A: Mississippi.
March Madness. The N.C.A.A. tournament starts out at 65, then it goes right
to 64, then 32, then 16, then four, then down to just one. It's like G.M.
Brain cells come and brain
cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Syrupy Sarah's Serendipitous
April is Holy Humor Month
This is National Scoop the Poop Week
April 29 is National Shrimp Scampi Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day
April 30 is Spank Your Kids Day
May 1 is . . Loyalty Day
May 1 is . . Mother Goose Day
May 1 is . . Save The Rhino Day
May 1 is . . National Bubba Day
May 1 is . . School Principals' Day
[And the retired ones like Slagle!]
May 2 is . . Sibling Appreciation Day
May 2 is . . Fire Day
May 3 is . . Lumpy Rug Day
May 3 is . . Do Dah Day
May 4 is . . National Meeting Planners
May 4 is . . National Weather Observer's
May 4 is . . Relationship Renewal Day
May 4 is . . Kite Day
May 4 is . . National Candied Orange
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
ALL IN THE FAMILY: "Father, Son Arrested
Bailing Out Mom, Sister" -Hartford (Conn.) Courant headline
Now He Tells Us!: "Obama Asks Americans
Not to Expect Too Much From Him" -Associated Press
What an Insensitive Headline: "Chinks
Exposed in Obama's Taliban Plan" -Asia Times
No One Knows for Sure: "Guess Profit
Falls 13 Percent" -Los Angeles Business Journal
Drinking and Driving Don't Mix: "Wild
Turkey Sends Maine Motorcyclist to Hospital" -Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Scientists: We're
Doomed. Or Are We?" -Greenpeace UK Web site
Redundancies of the Day:
"Animal Rights, Circus Lawyers Differ on Elephants" --Associated Press
"Gore to Revisit Climate Crisis in New Book" -New York Times Web site
Particular Paul's Penitent
It occurred to me the other day that
yogurt has a long whey to go before it becomes popular culture.
A young missionary on his first term in
Africa was reading his Bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down
beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of
the bush and laid down by his other side. Convinced that this was a test of
his faith, he returned to reading his Bible. As soon as he did, the two
lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Don't try to read between the
A motorcycle enthusiast complained that
he couldn't decide whether to buy a bike with high top speed and poor
acceleration, or one with lots of torque and fast acceleration, but a poor
top speed. Eventually he decided on the second one, because it cost a lot
less. After all, torque is cheap!
Gentleman Jim's Generic
(and bumper stickers)
Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can
Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are
Timed For 70 mph
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why
Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Ax Me About Ebonics.
Luxurious Larry's Light
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the
Serendipitous Suzi's Semiserious
Decafalon: The grueling regimen of
getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a
mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be
That's it from "Your Community
Organizer" for this week. Just remember our Boy Governor's great
ideas like "The crime perpetrated by illegal aliens has gotten really bad -
we need to take the guns away from the citizens."
But, on the other hand............