May 18 is . . International Museum Day [And, I guess, the movie of the same
May 18 is . . Neighbor Day
May 18 is . . Visit Your Relatives Day
May 18 is . . Youth Violence Day
May 19 is . . May Ray Day
May 19 is . . Frog Jumping Jubilee Day [Don't forget this one!]
May 20 is . . Eliza Doolittle Day
May 21 is . . I Need A Patch For That Day
May 21 is . . Turn Beauty Inside Out Day
May 21 is . . National Memo Day
May 23 is . . Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
May 23 is . . World Turtle Day
May 23 is . . Penny Day [A penny for your ........]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.....................
AND NOW THEY'RE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER FOR LIFE: "Couple Charged after Fight
in Which They Cover Each Other in Glue" - Myrtle Beach (S.C.) Sun News
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Bus!: "White House Aide Louis Caldera
Loses Job Over Manhattan Flyover Fiasco Involving Air Force One" --Daily
News (New York)
We Blame Global Warming: "Icy Winds Threaten U.S.-Russia Thaw" -Financial
Breaking News From 1933: "Germans Pessimistic, Demand Strong Leadership"
-Baltic Times (Riga, Latvia)
An Inauspicious Start: "Trial Begins in Shooting Death of Defense Attorney"
News You Can Use: "Work-Life Balance a Challenge, Says Michelle Obama, but
Having White House Staff Helps" -Washington Post Web site
Redundant Story of the Day: "Study Shows Government Web Sites Lag Behind
Private Sector" -FoxNews.com
Perpendicular Paul's Ponderous Puns....................
Not so very long ago we were all told that a black man would be President
when pigs fly. On the 100 day of Barack Obama's Presidency... swine flu!
Historians have recently discovered that Annie Oakley, famed sharp-shooter
of the Old West, had a sister. The sister, Carrie, gained some renown in
her day as a singer in various saloons throughout the West, but it was not
until after her death that she was very widely known. Today, countless bars
are dedicated to Carrie Oakley.
When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On
my desk, I have a work station. What more can I say.
Serendipitous Suzi's Super Sayings..................
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER
My wife gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF
My homie smelled so bad I couldn't brief .
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM
Yo, when all my familia gets in the car, there's not mushroom.
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN
My girlfriend wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE
Some guy tried to sweet talk my woman. I told him, yo loco,
liver alone, cheese mine.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Self Help Books..................
Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
A Guide to Arab Democracies
Career Opportunities for History Majors
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
Loquacious Larry's Literate Leavings...................
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
Well now. I'm pleased to report that as your designated "community
organizer" in a state that now is officially one of the highest taxed in the
nation has bought a run-down, nobody really cares, never profitable movie
theater. Your taxes at work. And, our boy governor has not denied any
extra marital affairs lately. It's so enlightening to live close to
Absurdia, the principle city in The People's Democratic Republic of
But, on the other hand................