May 15, 2009

Pushing back at the National Socialist Party............

 
Both our esteemed President and Nancy Pelosi have accused the CIA of lying to them.   Even the tame press have acknowledged that Pelosi lied, over and over.  Hmmm......
 
The Libs want European type government.  How's this?   The European Commission on Wednesday fined Intel a record 1.06 billion euros, or about $1.45 billion, for abusing its dominance in the computer chip market to exclude longtime rival AMD.
 
Have you looked at your payroll tax lately?  The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, part of the National Institutes of Health, will pay $2.6 million in U.S. tax dollars to train Chinese prostitutes to drink responsibly on the job.  “The purpose of the project is to try and develop an intervention program targeting HIV risk and alcohol use,” Dr. Xiaoming Li, the researcher conducting the program, announced.   The grant is one of several “international initiatives” sponsored by NIH.
 
So Social Security will be broke in seven years. First Bernie Madoff, now this. It's like Ponzi schemes don't even work anymore.

Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Mutterings................
 
Don't worry about avoiding temptation -- as you grow older, it will avoid you.
 
We're a fastidious couple... I'm fast.... She's tedious.
 
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
 
Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
 
I used to be a heavy gambler but now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind........
Serendipitous Sarah's Salty Sayings...................
 
This is More Than Just A Pretty Face Month
 
This is Pickle Week!
 
May 17 is . . Pack Rat Day

May 18 is . . International Museum Day  [And, I guess, the movie of the same day]

May 18 is . . Neighbor Day

May 18 is . . Visit Your Relatives Day

May 18 is . . Youth Violence Day

May 19 is . . May Ray Day

May 19 is . . Frog Jumping Jubilee Day    [Don't forget this one!]

May 20 is . . Eliza Doolittle Day

May 21 is . . I Need A Patch For That Day

May 21 is . . Turn Beauty Inside Out Day

May 21 is . . National Memo Day   

May 23 is . . Morning Radio Wise Guy Day

May 23 is . . World Turtle Day

May 23 is . . Penny Day    [A penny for your ........]

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.....................
 
AND NOW THEY'RE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER FOR LIFE: "Couple Charged after Fight in Which They Cover Each Other in Glue" - Myrtle Beach (S.C.) Sun News headline
 
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a Bus!: "White House Aide Louis Caldera Loses Job Over Manhattan Flyover Fiasco Involving Air Force One" --Daily News (New York)
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Icy Winds Threaten U.S.-Russia Thaw" -Financial Times
 
Breaking News From 1933: "Germans Pessimistic, Demand Strong Leadership" -Baltic Times (Riga, Latvia)
 
An Inauspicious Start: "Trial Begins in Shooting Death of Defense Attorney" -Arizona Republic
 
News You Can Use: "Work-Life Balance a Challenge, Says Michelle Obama, but Having White House Staff Helps" -Washington Post Web site
 
Redundant Story of the Day: "Study Shows Government Web Sites Lag Behind Private Sector" -FoxNews.com
Perpendicular Paul's Ponderous Puns....................
 
Not so very long ago we were all told that a black man would be  President when pigs fly.   On the 100 day of Barack Obama's  Presidency... swine flu!
 
Historians have recently discovered that Annie Oakley, famed sharp-shooter  of the Old West, had a sister.  The sister, Carrie, gained some renown in her day as a singer in various saloons throughout the West, but it was not until after her death that she was very widely known.  Today, countless bars are dedicated to Carrie Oakley.

When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.
 
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.   What more can I say.

Serendipitous Suzi's Super Sayings..................
 
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WATER
My wife gets mad and I don't even know water problem is!
 
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF
My homie smelled so bad I couldn't brief .
 
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM
Yo, when all my familia gets in the car, there's not mushroom.
 
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN
My girlfriend wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by
herself.
 
SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE
Some guy tried to sweet talk my woman. I told him, yo loco,
liver alone, cheese mine.

Gentleman Jim's Generic Self Help Books..................
 
Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
 
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
 
A Guide to Arab Democracies
 
Career Opportunities for History Majors
 
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
 
French Hospitality

Loquacious Larry's Literate Leavings...................
 
GEORGE BUSH:  When you rearrange the letters: 
HE BUGS GORE
 
THE MORSE CODE:  When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
 
SLOT MACHINES:   When you rearrange the letters: 
CASH LOST IN ME
 
ANIMOSITY:   When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
 
ELECTION RESULTS:   When you rearrange the letters:  
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

Well now.  I'm pleased to report that as your designated "community organizer" in a state that now is officially one of the highest taxed in the nation has bought a run-down, nobody really cares, never profitable movie theater.  Your taxes at work.  And, our boy governor has not denied any extra marital affairs lately.  It's so enlightening to live close to Absurdia, the principle city in The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan.

But, on the other hand................
 
You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

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