May 22, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....

Oh, the evils of waterboarding!  How many laments have we heard!  Now, HOW MANY KILLERS IN GITMO WERE WATERBOARDED? THREE  (3)  Teddy Kennedy was directly responsible for actually KILLING 1/3 of that number (Mary Jo Kopeckne) word was simply because she was "knocked up!"  And he is a hero of the evil Libs!
Good old Joe Biden, the president's first big choice in his campaign has illegally (and stupidly) released classified information about the underground bunker and lied about made up unemployment statistics.
And Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was embarrassed by Dana Bash of CNN; was teased by Dana Milbank of the Washington Post; was taken to task by Gerald Seib of the Wall Street Journal; and, was called a liar by CIA director Leon Panetta.  
How's that for a few days in the life of the evil party?
And except for Cheney, the stupid party has done NOTHING!

Merry Mary's Meticulous Mutterings.............
My doctor just said I have something called "natural causes." Should I be worried?
One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was probably a yo-yo.
Some people just don't know how to drive ... I call these people  "Everybody But Me."
Don't try to catch snowflakes on you tongue until all the birds have flown south.
Syrupy Sarah's Spurious Selections................
This is still National Salsa Month
This is National Pickle Week
May 24 is . . National Escargot Day   [Who's driving the "S" car?]

May 24 is . . Brother's Day

May 24 is . . International Jazz Day

May 25 is . . Ancestor Honor Day

May 25 is . . Coal Miner Day

May 25 is . . National Tap Dance Day

May 26 is . . Grey Day

May 27 is . . Body Painting Arts Festival

May 27 is . . Great American Grump Out Day    [One of my FAVORITES!]

May 28 is . . National Senior Lack of Mental Health Day

May 28 is . . National Hamburger Day

May 28 is . . Slugs Return to Capistrano Day

May 29 is . . Hug Your Cat Day

May 29 is . . End Of The Middle Ages Day   [This may be a bit premature]

May 30 is . . My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day  

May 30 is . . Loomis Day

May 31 is . . National Macaroon Day

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines....................
NATURALLY, IT GOT AWAY: "Man Set House on Fire While Trying to Kill a Spider with a Lighter" - London (U.K.) Telegraph headline
Just So They Don't Waterboard Her: "Gingrich: Pelosi Should Be Suspended, Probed"
Aren't They Great Enough Already?: "Obama Seeks $475M to Improve the Great Lakes" -Detroit Free Press
Breaking News From 1971: "Savage Appeals to Hillary Clinton"
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Cops: NY Amish Youth Had Beer in Horse-Drawn Buggy" -Associated Press
News of the Tautological: "Industry Breathes Life Into Economy" --Indianapolis Star
News You Can Use: "One Way to Kill Fire Ants: Turn Them Into Headless Zombies" -Houston Chronicle
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Al Gore's Hypocrisy Astounding"
More News You Can Use: "Lack of Sleep May Impact Upon Moral Judgement [sic]" 
Still More News You Can Use: "Slippery Roads Lead to Crashes"-Wausau (WI) Daily Herald
"Men Save Salamanders From Being Squished"-Associated Press
Punfull Paul's Particular Puns.........................
Scientists at MIT have reportedly announced that they have discovered a new species of weevil that feeds solely on the cotton fibers in men's shorts. The researchers have no idea where the species originated, and are appealing to the general public, as well as the rest of the scientific community for any information that would help identify the insect. They are anxious to identify what weevil lurks in the shorts of men.
Grocery store clerks make you pick paper or plastic because baggers can't be choosers
There are some happy sciences, but others are not so happy. A case in point concerns embryologists who tend to be a morose and saddened group than most. No wonder. One of the first things they learn is that our lives are ova before they've begun.
If you can't stand the Heat, cheer for the Lakers.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.....................
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Lurking Larry's Leavenous Leavings................

When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.

Quit griping about your church; If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
Serious Suzy's Serendipitous Sayings.................
BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.
GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.
That's it for this week from your embedded community activist, lurking near Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where everyone wants to know - Who is paying for the legal defense of the Mayor of Absurdia who gave no-bid contracts to her "down low" squeeze?

But, on the other hand............

 Laughter is Gods sunshine.

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