May 29, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
"Change we can believe in"
came early to The Socialist Heaven - Callyforlornia - with all of its open
boarders, free health care for illegal immigrants, and filled with Hollywood
political experts has spent itself into bankruptcy. It has raised taxes on
the rich and they are moving out so state so income is plunging. And the
U.S. is headed down the same road - lickety split!
It shouldn't be: "[A] court of appeals
is where policy is made." --Sotomayor in 2005
In his Naval Academy commencement
speech, Obama bragged about shooting the Somali pirates in those 'five days
in April.' I hear a movie coming: 'Five Days in April -- How a courageous,
brave, historic president of the United States personally wiped out three
Pelosi said that the CIA misleads us all the time. You know, unlike
Merry Mary's Meticulous
Wine does not make you FAT it makes you
LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.
You know you are getting old when the
candles cost more than the cake.
Of all of the ten biblical plagues, I
bet frogs was the most fun to watch.
You know you're getting fat when you sit
in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.
Calling an illegal alien an
'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an 'unlicensed
Strident Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings..................
June is National Accordion Awareness Month
June 1 is . . . . . Dare Day
June 2 is . . . . . National Bubba Day [Yo! Bubba!]
June 2 is . . . . . National Rocky Road Day
June 3 is . . . . . Repeat Day
June 3 is . . . . . Repeat Day
June 4 is . . . . . Hug Your Cat Day
June 4 is . . . . . Maid's Day
June 5 is . . . . . Festival Of Popular Delusions Day [and I have a few!]
June 6 is . . . . . Teacher's Day [Just for Sarah!]
June 6 is . . . . . National Applesauce Cake Day
June 6 is . . . . . National Doughnut Day [Except in Irvington!]
June 6 is . . . . . National Gardening Exercise Day
June 6 is . . . . . National Yo-Yo Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..........................
IN THIS ECONOMY, IT MAY BE THE ONLY Thing PhDs CAN GET: "Burger Chain Wants
McPhDs to Complement McJobs" -- AFP headline
We Blame President Obama: "Omaha Man Blames Casino Drinks, Drugs for Big
Debt" --Associated Press
Teleprompter Still Has Top Billing: "Facsimile Constitution Gets Starring
Role in Presidential Speech" --ABCNews.com
Steel Would Be More Durable: "Venezuela Set to Build First Oil Rig With
China: Report" -Agence France-Presse
That's Some Fine Detective Work: "Shooting Spree Endangered Neighborhood
Residents, Police Say" -Star Press (Muncie, IN)
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "LIZ PEEK: Danger - Our Government Is
Set to Explode" -FoxNews.com
News You Can Use: "Tax Audits Are No Laughing Matter" --The Wall Street
Redundant Stories of the Day:
"Dem's Budget Raises Taxes, Slashes Services" KATU-TV Web site (Portland,
"Obama Blames Bush" --The Weekly Standard Web site
1.8 Billion Sickened by Excessive Media Coverage of Swine Flu -- Woodbine
GOP Gang War Worsens as Powell Calls Out Limbaugh on New Rap CD -- Lisbon
Particular Paul's Unctuous Puns.........................
A suspect was arrested recently for attacking a man in a rice field with a
small ceramic figurine. It's the first case on record of a knick-knack
I was complaining the other day to a friend about the knot in my tie.
"These four-in-hands with their tiny knots are so unstylish," I complained.
He asked, "Do you know how to do a Windsor knot?" I replied, "It doesn't
matter if you Windsor knot, it's how you play the game!"
Since I have nothing better to do, I
spent some time teaching the local kids how to safely jump over a line of
bushes. I guess I'm a hedge fun manager
Gentlemen Jim's Generic
When I was young I dreamed of being a
test pilot. Flying higher, faster, farther. Risking my life for the science
of aviation. But when I grew up I found out I wasn't qualified because of my
poor eyesight. Now I work in a post office which gives me many of the same
thrills. I'm always pushing the envelope!
I thought about how mothers feed their
babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese
mothers use. Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up
in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't
they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look
for them while they deliver the mail?
At income tax time, did you ever notice:
When you put the two words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS"
Simply Suzi's Serious
HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that
nobody notices until she doesn't do it.
HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges
he never realized he had.
JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little
device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.
LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is
cured by marriage.
MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who
destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Lucky Larry's Luscious
(and infamous book titles)
The Amish Phone Book
Everything Men Know About Women
How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer
Scouts in Bondage by Michael Bell
Be Bold with Bananas by Crescent Books
That's it from your embedded "community activist" still driving
around the Woodbine Beltway. Please remember that tomorrow, June 30 is the
real "Decoration Day."
"Never in the field of human conflict was so
much owed by so many to so few." --Sir Winston Churchill
But, on the other hand..............