June 26, 2009

Today's Newsletter is being produced by Bee Meedy and Frank Oaker.  This is a Meady/Oaker production.

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party....
"Last night I saw upon the stair, a little president who wasn't there.   He wasn't there again today. Oh, how I wish he'd go away"
On Iraq:  President Obamanation voted "present"   EVEN the French showed the Iraq protesters some degree of approval.  The French showed us the way!!!!!!!!!!   The FRENCH!  And Obama did NOTHING!   I guess from his vantage point -- sipping a frappuccino between cigarettes over The New York Times every morning, prior to issuing daily marching orders to his Leftist cadres - protesting must seem barbaric and Shariah Law tolerant.
Warren Buffett, the "EXPERT ECONOMIST" was the chief economical advisor to Arnold Swartseneger - Gov. of California - the state most in financial trouble.  Guess what?  He is NOW Obama's chief economical advisor - Lord help us!

Meticulous Mary's Melodious Mutterings.........................
To err is human; to blame it on the other person is even more human.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria
Only in America do we have a General in charge of the post office and a Secretary in charge of defense.
Silly Sarah's Strenuous Stutterings..........................
June is Turkey Lover's Month    [To each his own]
BUT!   July is National Ice Cream Month    [Hooray!]
June 25 is . . . . Log Cabin Day
June 25 is . . . . National Catfish Day
June 26 is . . . . Beautician's Day
June 26 is . . . . Forgiveness Day
June 26 is . . . . National Chocolate Pudding Day
June 27 is . . . . National Columnists Day
June 27 is . . . . Sun Glasses Day
June 28 is . . . . Paul Bunyan Day

July 1 is . . . . . Creative Ice Cream Flavor Day

July 1 is . . . . . Build A Scarecrow Day

July 2 is . . . . . I Forgot Day

July 2 is . . . . . World UFO Day

July 3 is . . . . . Chimborazo Day

July 3 is . . . . . Air Conditioning Appreciation Day    [Oooh Yeah!]

July 3 is . . . . . Stay Out Of The Sun Day

July 3 is . . . . . Compliment Your Mirror Day

July 4 is . . . . . National Country Music Day   [for you boot-scootin dancers]

July 4 is . . . . . Tom Sawyer Fence-Painting Day

July 4 is . . . . . Sidewalk Egg Frying Day

July 4 is . . . . . Freedom From Fear of Speaking Day    [So far....]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines...........................
NOT VERY WELL: "Woman Was Teaching Boy, 11, to Drive When She Was Run Over" - Salt Lake (Utah) Tribune headline
Although 'Misspelled' Is Right Up There: "'Definitely' Is Most Commonly Misspelt Word" -Daily Telegraph (London)
It's Always in the Last Place You Look: "Huge Roman-Era Cave Found by Jericho" -Jerusalem Post
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Man Sets Off Fireworks in Bathroom at Del. Arby's" -Associated Press
News You Can Use: "10 Ways to Swat a Fly" --BBC Web site
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Strong Words on Climate Change" --Boston Globe
Fictional Character Immortalized Through Verbification: "Man Charged for trying to MacGyver Propane Tank to Car Engine" - London (Ont., Canada) Free Press headline
The Old Ball and Chain: "Man Sentenced to Prison, Gets Married" -Associated Press
'Cmon, Dude! Sentence Us, Please!': "Pot Growers Plead, to Be Sentenced" -Ionia (MI)

Particular Paul's Penurious Puns..........................
I went to this bar in San Francisco. There was a small stage where a girl was dancing. Since there was no other customer there, the bartender was in a talkative mood. He told me he employed twin girls named Shelly and Jan to dance on the stage. Since they were working their way through college, they took turns dancing. One day Shelly danced there and the next day Jan danced there. I asked him which one was on the stage that day and he replied, "It must be Shelly 'cause Jan don't shake like that.
Here where we live, little creeks run through the fields, making endless little rivulets. My wife spend much of the year working on the borders of these streams,  working hard to keep the borders clear and clean. If there is anything she likes, it is to weed a good brook.

Serious Suzi's Stentoriuos Sayings....................
Artery.....The study of paintings

Bacteria....Back door to cafeteria

Barium......What doctors do when patients die

Benign......What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section....... A neighborhood in Rome

Gentleman Jims Generic Jems............................
Does killing time damage eternity?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
How can there be self-help "groups"?

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings....................
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.

We don't change the message, the message changes us.

Do we ever have a continuing "situation" in Absurdia!  The evil thief of a mayor - Sheila Dixon - who refused to fire her Chief of Staff, Demaune Millard who punched his girl friend, another city employee, in the face while on a harbor cruise (probably paid for by the taxpayers) and is suing a Ocean City Domino's Pizza for 30 Million Dollars ($30,000,000.00) because they refused to serve him because he was "noisy, belligerent and intoxicated."   It is sooo instructive to live in Absurdistan where the evil party continues it's uncontested reign.

But, on the other hand.....................
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

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