July 3, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party......

 
About "Inconvenient Truths!"  The EPA did not publicly release a March report that raised questions about the validity of the agency's conclusions that carbon emissions were a cause of global warming and a danger to human health--primary assumptions behind the cap and trade bill that passed the House on Friday.   Critics--including eight congressmen--say the document was suppressed in spite of an Obama administration pledge to bring greater transparency to government.
 
According to the Miami Herald, Johns Hopkins is one of the four schools (the others being Georgetown, American University and the University of Virginia) in the DC area where Cuba fishes for spies.
 
Talk about Ponzi schemes!  Bernard Madoff was an amateur.  When FDR first instituted Social Security there were 37 people working for each retired person. The baby boom occurred after that and was obviously not anticipated.   When boomers start to retire in droves, there will be 2 people working (and paying into SS) for every retired person receiving payments.
Merry Miss Mary's Meticulous Murmurings.............
 
Q: Why did God create economists?  A: In order to make weather forecasters look good.
 
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
 
Avoid clichés like the plague ... they're a dime a dozen!
 
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
 
I also have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Sappy Sarah's Strenuous Sayings...................
 
This is International Men's Month and National Accordion Awareness Month - juxtaposition? Coincidence?
 
This is Be Nice To New Jersey Week    [They need it!]
 
June 5 is . . . . . 1946 - Louis Reard invented the bikini
 
June 5 is . . . . . Festival Of Popular Delusions Day 

July 5 is . . . . . National Hunger Awareness Day

July 5 is . . . . . Workaholics Day

July 6 is . . . . . National Fried Chicken Day

July 6 is . . . . . Donut Day

July 6 is . . . . . Heart Mania Day

July 6 is . . . . . Take Your Webmaster to Lunch Day

July 7 is . . . . . Chocolate Day

July 7 is . . . . . National Strawberry Sundae Day
 
July 8 is . . . . . 1947 - UFO crashed near Roswell NM

July 8 is . . . . . Video Games Day

July 8 is . . . . . Upsy Daisy Day

July 8 is . . . . . is Name Your Poison Day

July 9 is . . . . . National Sugar Cookie Day

July 10 is . . . . .Clerihew Day

July 10 is . . . . .Teddy Bear Picnic Day

July 10 is . . . . .Don't Step On A Bee Day

July 10 is . . . . .Chuy's National Taco Day

July 11 is . . . . .National Yo-Yo Day  

July 11 is . . . . .Different Colored Eyes Day

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines...................
 
D. A. Getting on this ASAP: "Woman Allegedly on Way to AA Charged with DUI" - Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette headline
 
Obama's Health Care Plan Is Worse Than We Imagined: "Lowell to Get Shot to Treat Ailing Hip" -MLB.com
 
And May There Be Peace on Earth: "May Incomes Surge, but Savings Outpace Spending" -Associated Press
 
He Finally Got a Real Job?: "Kerry Becomes a Bridge-Builder" -Boston Globe
 
The Stock Market, Explained: "Turkey Lands in Manure Truck's Cab, Causing Crash" -Associated Press
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control:
 "Coleman Concedes; Franken Wins Senate Seat" --CBSNews.com
"Approval Ratings for Pelosi Hit a New Low" -Washington Post
 
Breaking News From 2000: "Al Gore Not Coming to D.C." -Politico.com
 
News You Can Use: "Watch Out for Rabid Skunks" -Omaha World-Herald
Particular Paul's Penurious Puns..............................
 
Mr. Combs had a furniture store specializing in ornate antiques in the baroque style. He had walking pneumonia but was at the store anyway. He was in one of the baroque style chairs rubbing Vicks Vaporub on his chest when he discovered that the soothing ointment gave the furniture a wonderful, deep, rich shine. He immediately told the other furniture store owners since their furniture was more modern in style and they were not competitors. Soon he got reports that the Vicks treatment not only failed to work on the modern furniture, but ruined some of it. Mr. Combs is very unpopular now, and his only consolation is that he learned one important rule: If it's not baroque, don't Vicks it.
 
During a hike with my friend, I noticed a black bird roosting in a nearby tree. "I've always wondered what the difference is between a crow and a raven," I said. "You have to count the pinion feathers on the wings," my friend explained. "If there are four, it's a crow. If it's five, it's a raven." "Really?" I said, although I knew he didn't have a clue what he was talking about. "Oh yes," he replied. "The difference is just a matter of a pinion."

Saucy Suzi's Strident Sayings......................
 
The world's largest disco was held at the Buffalo Convention Centre, New York, 1979. 13,000 danced a place into the Guinness Book of World Records.  
 
In August 1983, Peter Stewart of Birmingham, UK set a world record by disco dancing for 408 hours.  
 
The Beatles song "Martha My Dear" was written by Paul McCartney about his sheepdog Martha.  
 
The harmonica is the world's best-selling music instrument.  

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings...................
 
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.
 
God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.......................
 
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:  "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
 
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
 
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
 
At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit, please back in."
 
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

That's it for this week from your unpaid community organizer and embedded reporter still dizzy from so may trips around the Woodbine Beltway while chasing down more scandals in and around Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.

But, on the other hand.........................
 
It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.
Today's Newsletter was produced by Bee Meedy and Frank Oaker.  This has been a Meady/Oaker Production

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