July 10, 2009

Today's Newsletter is being produced by Bee Meedy and Frank Oaker.  (This is a Meady/Oaker production.)


Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party..............
 
The "Stupid Party" has lost it's first real conservative since President Reagan when Palin stepped down.  1854 -2009.   Rest in Peace.
 
The "Obama Apology Machine" continues it's march through Europe apologizing for our amazing leadership in WW1, WW2 Viet Nam, Iraq, Afghanistan and the demise of the "Evil Empire".   We are so bad!  
 
It's been 8 months already! How hard could it be to forge a Hawaiian birth certificate?  Obama has spent millions of dollars in courts avoiding this issue...................
 
The great thing about the July 4th weekend was that nothing bad can  happen -- Congress is on vacation
Merry Mary's Meticulous Murmurings...................
 
No matter how much you push the envelope, itīll still be stationery.
 
I never repeat gossip -- so please listen carefully the first time.
 
Gossips have a keen sense of rumor.
 
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?
 
The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.

Serious Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings..................
 
July is National Baked Bean Month and also
July is National Bison Month   

This is National Hermit Week
 
July 12 is . . . . .Regrets Use of "Forever" Stamps on Wedding Initiations
 
July 13 is . . . . .Blame Someone Else Day

July 13 is . . . . .Embrace Your Geekness Day

July 13 is . . . . .National Juggling Day

July 13 is . . . . .Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day

July 13 is . . . . .Gruntled Workers Day

July 13 is . . . . .Sux2BeU2day

July 13 is . . . . .International Skeptics Day

July 13 is . . . . .Fool's Paradise Day

July 14 is . . . . .National Nude Day

July 14 is . . . . .International Town Criers Day    [don't cry if you don't see any of the above]

July 15 is . . . . .National Tapioca Pudding Day

July 15 is . . . . .St Swithin's Day

July 15 is . . . . .Respect Canada Day    [Nick - Why?]

July 16 is . . . . .International Juggling Day

July 16 is . . . . .National Ice Cream Day    [I can get behind this one!]

July 17 is . . . . .Stewarts Root Beer Day

July 17 is . . . . .National Peach Ice Cream Day

July 17 is . . . . .Yellow Pig Day

July 18 is . . . . .National Caviar Day

July 18 is . . . . .National Splurge Day    [Make a splash!]

July 18 is . . . . .International Panic Day 
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..........................
 
Tea And Strumpets: "Canterbury is Sufficiently Gay, Council Inspectors Rule" - London Telegraph headline
 
To Whom It May Concern: "Obama Tells the AP He Is Deeply Concerned About Rising Unemployment" -Associated Press
 
"Former President Clinton Intrigued by Possibility of Clandestine Affairs With Hot Argentinean Chicks" - National Probe
 
It Better Not Be a Free One: "Economists Out to Lunch" -The Washington Post
 
A Distinction Without a Difference: "Jackson Service Conflicts With Circus Visit" -The Washington Times
 
You Call This Fair and Balanced?: "Fox Snatches Lunch From Boy Before Attacking Woman, 76" -FoxNews.com
 
Even So, May We Borrow Your Gun?: "Expert Warns of Danger to Consumer Lending Arms" -Financial Times
 
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control: "Biden to Take New Role Overseeing Iraq Policy" -Agence France-Presse
 
News You Can Use: "Beware the Obama 'Evil Eye'" -Drudge Report
 
Redundant Stories of the Day:
"D.C.'s Marion Barry Arrested Again" --CNN.com
"Swine Flu Hasn't Shown Up at Ky. Summer Camps" -Lexington Herald-Leader
"Jesse Jackson Seeks More Diversity in Hollywood" -Reuters
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems...................
 
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
 
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make
foghorns out of?
 
If you shouldn't drink and drive, why do bars have parking
lots?
 
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
 
How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Simply Suzi's Stentorious Stutterings................
 
I wouldn't say my brother is stupid, but.......
 
...He keeps forgetting I'm an only child!
 
...He's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
 
...He puts a bucket under the pipe when there's a gas leak.
 
...He has an intellect that is rivaled only by egg plants.

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings......................
 
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' Are just sitting on the premises. 

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
 
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
 
He who angers you, controls you!
 
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!

That's it for this week from your "neighborhood activist" lurking in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principal city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan where the rich are moving out of state to avoid the usurious tax rate imposed upon them.  Just like what happened to Absurdia over the last 40 years!   The "Evil Party" never learns from it's misjudgments.

But, on the other hand.......................
 
They say character is what you have after you've lost everything else.   I say: If you've lost everything else, how much character could you have had in the first place?

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