7/24/09

This week's "Friday's Musings" is being produced by Betty Meedy and Frank Oaker.  This is a Meady/Oaker production.


Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party......
 
Obama's new Czar, for "Green Jobs" Anthony "Van" Jones freely admits he's a proud San Francisco Communist with an arrest record and serious prison time..............
 
News from the Ponzi Scheme - more than $1 million spent by the Social Security Administration for its employees to attend lavish retreats despite  the fact that the program is on the brink of financial ruin.
 
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) recently claimed that she knew nothing of the CIA practice of waterboarding, only to be exposed as a liar.  It has now been proven that she was briefed in 2002.
 
The admissions to our U. S. Naval Academy in Annapolis is now entirely race-based and not achievement based.   Fully 35% of new admissions this year are minorities, with SAT's in the 500's while the whites were in the 600's.

Merry Mary's Meticulous Murmurings......................
 
Wear short sleeves!   Support your right to bare arms!
 
What is the difference between mass and weight?  Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday and weight is where sundaes go on Catholics.
 
Just when I learn to take things with a "grain of salt", the doc puts me on a salt-free diet.
 
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
 
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
Scrappy Sarah's Serious Sayings....................
 
This is National "Doghouse Repairs" Month
 
This is National Salad Week & National Cheese Week
 
July 26 is . . . . .All Or Nothing Day

July 26 is . . . . .Black Eyed Peas Day in Athens Texas

July 26 is . . . . .All-American Soap Box Derby Day
 
July 27 is . . . . .Parents' Day

July 27 is . . . . .Take Your Houseplant For A Walk Day

July 27 is . . . . .Take Your Pants For A Walk Day

July 28 is . . . . .National Milk Chocolate Day

July 28 is . . . . ."The Hustle" hits #1 on the hit parade

July 28 is . . . . .National Drive-Thru Day

July 28 is . . . . .Log Cabin Day

July 28 is . . . . .Louis Lassing invents the hamburger in CT

July 29 is . . . . .Garlic Festival in Gilroy, California

July 29 is . . . . .National Lasagna Day

July 29 is . . . . .Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day

July 30 is . . . . .National Cheesecake Day

July 30 is . . . . .Mutt's Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.................
 
WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN THAT? "Man Charged with Twice Failing to Appear in Court Fails to Appear in Court" - Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald headline
 
PROFESSIONAL COURTESY: "Critically Endangered Marsupial Leads Police to Missing Python" - Western Australian headline
 
Pyramid Scheme Collapses: "IRS Fails to Collect $1.2 Billion From Those Owing $1 Million"--Bloomberg
 
First Same-Sex Marriage, Now This: "Kelly Hildebrandt to Marry Kelly Hildebrandt" -Houston Chronicle
 
How Many Arms Does He Have?: "Man's Arm Severed, 3 Others Critically Injured in Crash Near Midway" -Chicago Sun-Times
 
News of the Tautological: "Costly Gas Pushes Up Consumer Prices" -The New York Times
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Big Blobs of Mystery Goo Floating Off Alaska Coast" -McClatchy Newspapers
 
News You Can Use: "Durham Mayor Proclaims Friday a Day of Happiness" -News & Observer (Raleigh, NC)
 
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Sotomayor, Franken Both 'Perry Mason' Fans" -Associated Press
 
What Exactly Was Intended?:
"Obama: Stimulus 'Worked as Intended'" -Politico
"Worst Yet to Come: White House Economic Adviser" -Agence France-Presse

Punctious Paul's Perilous Puns...............
 
Did you hear about the guy who was in love with two women and couldn't decide which of them to marry? He went to a marriage counselor and the counselor asked him to describe his two loves. The confused guy said, "One girl is a great poet and the other makes delicious pancakes."  "Oh," said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

"Milwaukee" Faye, the well-known women's pool champion, was participating in the annual North Woods Tournament and was tied for first place with Minnesota Fats. She was just about to shoot when a mounted bear's head fell from above the fireplace. Faye became distracted, miscued, and ended up in second place. When the trophy was remounted above the fireplace, a sign was placed next to it reading:  "This is the bear that made Milwaukee Faye miss."
 
Once upon a time there was a woman who decided to open a tea room. She picked an ideal location and pretty soon business was booming. Then she got greedy and thought she would skimp on the ingredients and make more profit. She found that she could use her tea bags over and over  and nobody seemed to notice. But soon, her customers got fed up with weak tea. Her business failed and after a while she was bankrupt. The Moral Of The Story: Honest tea is the best policy.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.................
    (And Shortest Self Help Books)
 
MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by  Osama Bin Laden
 
THINGS I  CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates
 
THINGS I KNOW TO BE TRUE by Al Gore & John  Kerry
 
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
 
THE AMISH  PHONE DIRECTORY

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings.................
 
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
 
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
 
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.

God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead.. So why should you?

That's about it for this week from your "embedded community organizer" still reeling from the reported decrease in high school graduations and increase in serious teen age crime statistics right here in Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Republic of Absurdistan.  Could that be the reason for the continuing flight of residents to "Anywhere Else?"
 

But, on the other hand..................
 
Ability is what you're capable of doing.  Motivation determines what you do.  Attitude determines how well you do it.

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