July 31, 2009

This week's "Friday's Musings" is being produced by Betty Meedy and Frank Oaker.  This is a Meady/Oaker production.


Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....
"Today, we're spending like we're Paris Hilton, regulating like we're Ralph Nader, nationalizing like we're Hugo Chavez, printing money like we're the Weimar Republic and taxing like we're, well, the Democratic Congress." --former Georgia Democrat Sen. Zell Miller

Jimmy Carter left the Southern Baptist Church over its refusal to  ordain women and its teaching that women must be subservient to their husbands. Now he belongs to no church at all. The similarities between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter get scarier every day
 
However, the Stupid Party continues to have reps like Sen. Lindsey Graham who has changed sides so often that he is wears out his clothes from the inside!

Marvelous Mary's Merry Murmurings..............
 
There is only one "I" in "megalomaniac."
 
I'd probably watch more late-night TV if it were on earlier.
 
She's happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.
 
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me
 
Q: What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A: A feminist who won't do what she's told.
Serendipitous Sarah's Serenic Sayings...................
 
August is National Catfish Month
 
This is Simplify Your Life Week
 
August 1 is...National Raspberry Cream Pie Day  
 
August 1 is...Braham Pie Day
 
August 1 is...Hug A Senior Days
 
August 1 is...Rounds Resounding Day
 
August 1 is...Friendship Day

August 2 is...National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
 
August 2 is...National Mustard Day
 
August 3 is...National Watermelon Day  
 
August 3 is...Friendship Day
 
August 4 is...Twins Day Festival
 
August 4 is...Coast Guard Day
 
August 5 is...National Mustard Day
 
August 6 is...Wiggle Your Toes Day  
 
August 7 is...Sea Serpent Day  
 
August 8 is...Sneak Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night  
 
August 8 is...Admit You're Happy Day
 
August 8 is...Kool-Aid Day
 
August 8 is...Work Like A Dog Day

Happy Hilda's Hilarious (and real) headlines...........
 
EASY DOES IT: "Jewel Gang Caught after Getaway Driver Refuses to Break Speed Limit" - London Telegraph headline
 
No One Said Getting Old Was Easy: "House Dems Clear One Health Obstacle, Others Loom" -Associated Press
 
Help Wanted: "Democrats Search for Villains on Health Care" -Politico
 
Breaking News From 1973, 1978, 1988, 1993, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003, 2007...: "US in Diplomatic Push for Mideast Peace" -Agence France-Presse
 
Breaking News From 2007: "Clinton Hopes for Female President in Her Lifetime" -Reuters
 
We Blame Global Warming: "School Officials: Climate Not Right for School Construction Referenda" -Times (Munster, IN)
 
How Many More Does He Want?: "Newark Mayor Says 10 Shootings Unacceptable" -Associated Press
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "'Imbeciles': Hundreds Evacuated From Their Homes as Brushfire Caused by French Military Threatens Marseille" -Daily Mail (London)
 
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Obama Blames GOP for Stalled Health Bills" --The Hill
 
En Garde!: "Senate Calls for Real Fencing, Not 'Virtual'" -El Paso Times
 
If He Does Say So Himself: "UN Chief Says He's a Man of Results Not Rhetoric" -Associated Press
 
The Good News Is, They Finally Have Indoor Plumbing: "National Geographic to Film Rednecks in Bath" -Peoria (IL) Journal Star
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Gore: U.S. Climate Bill Will Help Bring About 'Global Governance'" -ClimateDepot.com
 
Can You Believe the AP? Story of the Day: "Incoming Alaska Governor to Tweet Less Than Palin" -Associated Press

Perilous Paul's Persnickety Puns..........................
 
His wife was in labor with their first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly, she began to shout, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!" Panicked, the husband phoned their doctor and told him what was happening. "Doctor, this is Mr. Smith, and my wife is acting very strangely! She just started calling out 'Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! CAN'T!', over and over again, with an occasional Isn't and Won't! thrown in. What's going on!? Should I be worried?  What should I do? Just what is wrong with my wife!" he cried. "Not to worry." said the doctor. "Get her to the hospital, I'll meet you here." "But what is it!!?" queried the husband. "Nothing out of the ordinary," assured the doctor. "It's perfectly and just part of her pregnancy. She's just having contractions, that's all!"
 
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'Taint mine.
 
A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the grounds. As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets.   When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the wind.   'So,' she said, 'now I weigh me down to sweep

Simply Suzi's Sweepings.....................
 
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
 
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be
lazy.
 
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
 
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
 
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Gentleman Jim's Generic Jottings..................
    (and the worlds shortest books)
 
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by  O.J. Simpson
 
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
by  Ted Kennedy
 
MY BOOK OF MORALS
by  Bill Clinton with introduction  by The Rev. Jesse Jackson
 
Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy!
by Nancy  Pelosi
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings......................
 
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.
 
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead.. So why should you?
 
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
 
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
 
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.  It's about learning to dance in the rain.
That's it for this week from your embedded "community organizer" lurking on the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the esteemed Mayor, Sheila Dixon has 7 more indictments lodged against her this week.   All you need to know about this example of the "Culture of Corruption" is that dozens of gift cards, donated by companies like Best Buy and Old Navy were used by her for herself and her children thus denying their use "for the children" living in dire poverty.

But, on the other hand...................
 
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take - but by the moments that take our breath away."

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