The same bunch that brought you the
current bankrupt Post Office (and probably your local DMV now wants to run
your healthcare. What could possibly go wrong?
Obama's health care plan will be written
by a committee whose head says he doesn't understand it, passed by a
Congress that hasn't read it, and whose members will be exempt from it,
signed by a president who smokes, funded by a treasury chief who did not pay
his taxes, overseen by a surgeon general who is obese, and financed by a
country that is broke. What could possibly go wrong?
'I called my stockbroker this morning
and asked him what I should be buying. He
said, "Canned Goods and Ammunition".
Marvelous Mary's Meticulous
I was working on my retirement plan this
weekend, but none of my tickets won.
The secret of staying young is to live
honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age
The other day, while sitting in a
traffic jam, I thought to myself, "Why does this only happen to me?
You know you're on a diet when cat food
commercials make you hungry.
I know a man who gave up smoking,
drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed
Sappy Sarah's Silly
August is Foot Health Month
This is National Waffle Week
August 23 is...National Spongecake Day
August 24 is...Knife Day
August 25 is...Kiss-And-Make-Up Day
August 26 is...National Cherry Popsicle
August 27 is..."The Duchess" Who Wasn't
August 28 is...World Sauntering Day
[Don't let me catch you!]
August 28 is...Emancipation Dream Day
August 28 is...Race Your Mouse Around
The Icons Day
August 29 is...Banana Split Day
invented- Latrobe PA 1904
August 30 is...National Toasted
August 31 is...National Trail Mix Day
August 31 is...Love Litigating Lawyers
Days [lots of luck with that!]
Happy Hilda's Actual Hilarious
Our Fearless Independent Media:
"Obama Takes On Health Care Critics" -NPR.org
"Obama Takes On Health Care Reform Critics" -Voice of America Web site
"Obama Takes On Health Care Critics" -Associated Press
"Obama Takes On Health Care Critics" -USA Today
"Obama Takes On Critics at Town Hall Forum" -Chicago Tribune
"Obama Takes On Health Care Critics" -Slate.com
"Obama to Take On Health-Care Critics" -Washington Post
Famous Last Words: "End-of-Life Dialogue
Stifled in Healthcare Reform Debate" -Miami Herald
Where's the Death Panel When You Need
It?: "Momentum Builds for Postal Service Relief" -NationalJournal.com
Look Out Below!: "White House Appears
Ready to Drop 'Public Option'" -Associated Press
Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of
Control: "Jesse Jackson Named Prince of African Tribe" -Daily Telegraph
News You Can Use: "The Earth Is Warming?
Adjust the Thermostat" -The New York Times
We Blame Global Warming: "2 Thrown Out
of Heated Meeting on Health Care Reform" -WEWS-TV Web site (Cleveland)
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Democrats
Plan Rally to Support Obama's Health-Care Plan" -Jackson (MI) Citizen
Serious Suzi's Succulent
No word in the English language rhymes
with month , orange, silver, or purple.
' Dreamt' is the only English word that
ends in the letters 'mt'.
Our eyes are always the same size from
birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps
over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and
'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left
Gentleman Jim's Generic
Apologetic .... I'm sorry that you have
to ask me that.
Argumentative .... Are you looking for a
Authoritarian .... I'll tell you when
you can ask me questions!
Bigotry .... I'm not going to tell
someone like you.
Compulsive .... I want to tell you right
now, I have to tell you right now!
Particular Paul's Perilous
I once considered becoming a monk when I
was young, but I was cloisterphobic.
A friend of mine recently returned from
a trip to Bombay and Calcutta where he purchased two diamond necklaces. On
his return flight to the United States, he had to go through customs where
he was asked to list everything he had purchased on his trip. So he made
the declaration of Indian pendants.
The Tuba player in the marching band was
benched for being overweight and unable to keep up with the band when
parading. He took the matter to court which meant that girth control had
resulted in tubal litigation
Lucky Larry's Litigious
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your
thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
That's it for this week from your
"neighborhood organizer." Well folks, it's official. Absurdia, the
principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan is a lost
cause. The Baltimore Police Department's Facebook page is not allowed to
comment on the indicted Mayor - Sheila Dixon - in ANY negative way - (From
"The Crime Beat" in "The Baltimore Sun.") We should build a big 20' wall
around the city and fill it with water, drain it and start over.
But, on the other