August 28, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....

 
SEIU president Andy Stern made the following boast to the Las Vegas Sun: “We spent a fortune to elect Barack Obama — $60.7 million to be exact — and we’re proud of it.” These are the "Brownshirts" assaulting critics at the various town hall meetings

ObamaCare in England: Thousands of women are having to give birth outside maternity wards because of a lack of midwives and hospital beds. The lives of mothers and babies are being put at risk as births in locations ranging from lifts to toilets - even a caravan - went up 15 per cent last year to almost 4,000

People for the Ethical treatment of Animals sent tons of toilet paper to Cuba Friday to help Cuba with its emergency shortage. The communist nation cannot supply its people's most basic needs. And to think that just last month Castro assured Cuba that government toilet paper will not drive private toilet paper out of business

Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Murmurings.................
 
Nostalgia is not what it use to be.
 
I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.
 
Change is good. Especially when it's a change back to the way I liked it in the first place.
 
I once sang in the choir in the Catholic Church, but my voice was terrible. The priest called it a weapon of Mass destruction.
 
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone

Super Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings........................
 
September is... National Bed Check Month  
 
This is Self-University Week
 
September 1 is... Emma M. Nutt Day  
 
September 2 is... National Beheading Day     [Jihad time?]
 
September 2 is...Another Look Unlimited Day
 
September 2 is...Bison-Ten-Yell (Bicentennial?) Day
 
September 3 is...Skyscraper Day
 
September 4 is Newspaper Carrier Day
 
September 4 is...Do It! Day (aka Fight Procrastination)
 
September 5 is...Be Late For Something Day  
 
September 5 is...Cheese Pizza Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines...................
 
BUT HEY, LET'S NOT RUSH INTO ANYTHING: "Texas Will Soon Make Sure That Competent Lawyers Handle Death-Row Appeals" - Houston Chronicle headline
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Why Sun's Atmosphere Is 'So Darned Hot'" -Space.com
 
Commentary by Mary Jo Kopechne: "Kennedy Drive No Afternoon Delight" -Chicago Sun-Times
 
Jobs Hobbits Won't Do: "Shire Plans to Add 750 Mass. Jobs" -Boston Globe
 
Questions No One Is Asking: "Who, Exactly, Is Outraged at Michelle Obama's Shorts?" -Newsweek.com
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Cockroaches Future-Proofed Against Climate Change" -NewScientist.com,
 
Redundant Story of the Day: "Obama's Day: Pushing Health Care Again" --USA Today Web site
 
See? I told you it was all her fault! "Evaluation Ordered for Woman Accused of Biting Marriage Mediator" - Portsmouth (N.H.) Herald headline
 
'Uh, Sorry About That': "Man Pleads Guilty to Murder, Apologizes" -Daily Sentinel (Nacogdoches, TX)
 
News You Can Use: "For Women, Nothing's Like the Smell of Men's Sweat" -Reuters
 
A story you don't want too see the pictures of: "Men with 'Moobs' Swell Queues for Breast Surgery" - London Times headline
 
Lock Up Your Daughters!: "Clinton Focuses on Women" -PoliticalWire.com
 
Stupid Is as Stupid Does: "Key Lawmakers Complain of Weak Intelligence" -Washington Times
 
Good Thing It Was Phony: "Phony Pipe Bomb Exploded in Northeast Charlotte" -WSOC-TV Web site (Charlotte, NC)

Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems......................
 
Conditional .... Well, it depends.
 
Damnation .... You and your questions can go to hell!
 
Depressed .... You would have to ask me that.
 
Dyslexic ....  Gniees sdrawkcab.
 
Egotistical ....  I'm the best person to answer that question.
 
Evasive ....  Have you done your homework today?

Particular Paul's Pugnacious Puns...........
 
Alcohol and calculus don't mix:  Never drink and derive.
 
A grocer was recently picketed by members of a local church for putting biblical verses on his grocery bags. He was accused of being sack-religious.
 
"Loose Weight Fast!" by Anna Rexcia
 
Our pet gerbils had a litter of young and I was trying to place them with a pet store. I was joking around about it, saying that if I couldn't find a buyer I'd have to turn them loose and let the snakes eat them, and my wife said, "Don't say such a cruel thing, not even ingest.

Lucky Larry's Litigious Leavings........................
 
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Serene Suzanne's Serenic Stipulations...................
 
Cat scan...................... Searching for Kitty

Cauterize................... Made eye contact with her

Colic............................ A sheep dog

Coma.......................... A punctuation mark

Dilate........................ To live long

That's it for this week from your "neighborhood organizer," still lurking around the Woodbine Beltway (I-666) and just a jokes throw from Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where our boy Governor is furloughing state employees to pay for the health care of illegal immigrants.  (It takes a lot of convoluted thinking to be a Democrat these days!)

But, on the Other Hand......................
 
Count your many blessings, name them one by one, Count your many blessings, see what God has done!

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