September 5, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
the National Socialist Party......
When I started this section about six
years ago, I could point out the foibles of both parties equally but there
has been such an assault on our country by the Statist Party (Liberals) that
nothing the Republicans could do would ever equal this year.
Barack Obama Sneaks Through "Union Only" Order Shutting 8 in
10 Construction Workers Out of Federal Projects last July. Non-Union
employers must also pay into the union retirement fund although they can
never use it!
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke will serve four
more years, or until the United States becomes a colony of China."
Political experts say that if a new version of the economic bailout plan is
going to pass, significant changes are going to have to be made. For
instance, the Democrats are going to remove the section of the plan that
says: 'Sweet Jesus, please let this work!
According to the Obama administrationís
mid-session own budget update, the federal government will have to borrow
nearly 40 percent of its total expenditures in 2010. And your children &
grand-children will be paying for this foolishness FOREVER!
Marvelous Mary's Meticulous
Our personnel office received an email
requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The
personnel office sent this reply... "We currently have no one broken down by
age or sex. However, we have a few alcoholics."
"I'll never forget the day you first walked
through that door. Blood and glass everywhere!"
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about
a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well
"The tests show your thyroid is perfectly
normal," the doctor said. "If anything is overactive, it's your fork."
Visa is everywhere I want to be, except out of debt.
Serendipitous Sarah's Serious
September is National Potato Month
This is Biscuits and Gravy Week
September 6 is...Fight Procrastination
Day but do it tomorrow
September 6 is...Read a Book Day
September 7 is...Neither Snow Nor Rain
September 8 is...National Nut Bread Day
September 8 is...Pardon Day [So,
September 8 is...International Literacy
Day [Only if you can read]
September 8 is...National Boss/Employee
September 9 is...Teddy Bear Day
September 10 is...Wonderful Weirdoes Day
September 10 is...Swap Ideas Day
September 10 is...Sew Be It! Day
September 11 is... No News Is Good News
September 12 is...Chocolate Milk Shake
September 12 is...National Personal Chef
September 12 is...National Chocolate
September 12 is...Video Games Day
[for my grandsons]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.................
HOLD STILL: "Police: Drunken Driver Hits Drunken Driving Enforcement
Officer" - Austin (Texas) American-Statesman headline
What Would We Do Without Experts?: "Experts: Media Today Would Demand
Chappaquiddick Answers" -CNN.com
You Call This Fair and Balanced?: "Aggressive Fox Bites 2 People, Steals
Sweater" -Daily Progress (Charlottesville, VA)
We Blame Global Warming: "Astrophysicists Puzzle Over Planet That's Too
Close to Its Sun" -Los Angeles Times
'I Don't Know, Dude, but Why Take Any Chances?': "Could Smoking Pot Cut Risk
of Head, Neck Cancer?" -Reuters
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Downturn Dims Prospects Even at Top
Law Schools" -The New York Times
News You Can Use: "Occidental College Offers Course in Stupidity" -Puffington
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Even Higher Taxes Coming for Californians" -Los Angeles Times
"Few Tickets Sold for Clinton CNE Speech" -Globe and Mail (Toronto)
Sometimes Suzanne's Sunny Stipulations.........
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to
hold the vegetables while you chop.
Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few
minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling
over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings.............
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents
will. Stay in touch.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
Pugnacious Paul's Predictable Puns............
Thomas Edison agreed to install light bulbs in the lavatory of the Sioux
Nation Building, thus becoming the first man to wire a head for reservations
Noah was a shrewd investor because he was able to float his stock while the
rest of the world was being liquidated.
Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll. They
were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older...
something with which all of us must deal eventually. One woman complained
that she remained an "apple-shape" and the other said that no matter how
much she exercised, there was too much poundage on her thighs. It almost
seemed like it was there to stay. Her buddy agreed, saying, "It's true. The
lard works in mysterious ways."
A spokesperson for the U. S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was
being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one side of the coin
would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale. Asked why two
people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied, "Now, when
you toss a coin you can simply call, 'Ted's or Hale's.'"
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.........................
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. You'll be afraid
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move
and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for much but they bring a
smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
That's it for this week from your "embedded neighborhood organizer"
looking for a country to move to if we don't vote the evil Liberals out of
office and clean up the mess that CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN have become
But, on the other hand...............