September 5, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party......

 
When I started this section about six years ago, I could point out the foibles of both parties equally but there has been such an assault on our country by the Statist Party (Liberals) that nothing the Republicans could do would ever equal this year.

Barack Obama Sneaks Through "Union Only" Order Shutting 8 in 10 Construction Workers Out of Federal Projects last July.  Non-Union employers must also pay into the union retirement fund although they can never use it!

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke will serve four more years, or until the United States becomes a colony of China."

Political experts say that if a new version of the economic bailout plan is going to pass, significant changes are going to have to be made. For instance, the Democrats are going to remove the section of the plan that says: 'Sweet Jesus, please let this work!

According to the Obama administrationís mid-session own budget update, the federal government will have to borrow nearly 40 percent of its total expenditures in 2010.  And your children & grand-children will be paying for this foolishness FOREVER!

Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Murmurings..............

Our personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply... "We currently have no one broken down by age or sex.   However, we have a few alcoholics."

"I'll never forget the day you first walked through that door.   Blood and glass everywhere!"

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well

"The tests show your thyroid is perfectly normal," the doctor said.  "If anything is overactive, it's your fork."

Visa is everywhere I want to be, except out of debt.


Serendipitous Sarah's Serious Sayings................
 
September is National Potato Month
 
This is Biscuits and Gravy Week
 
September 6 is...Fight Procrastination Day but do it tomorrow  
 
September 6 is...Read a Book Day
 
September 7 is...Neither Snow Nor Rain Day
 
September 8 is...National Nut Bread Day
 
September 8 is...Pardon Day    [So, pardon me]
 
September 8 is...International Literacy Day    [Only if you can read]
 
September 8 is...National Boss/Employee Exchange Day
 
September 9 is...Teddy Bear Day
 
September 10 is...Wonderful Weirdoes Day
 
September 10 is...Swap Ideas Day
 
September 10 is...Sew Be It! Day
 
September 11 is... No News Is Good News Day  
 
September 12 is...Chocolate Milk Shake Day
 
September 12 is...National Personal Chef Day
 
September 12 is...National Chocolate Milkshake Day
 
September 12 is...Video Games Day    [for my grandsons]

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.................
 
HOLD STILL: "Police: Drunken Driver Hits Drunken Driving Enforcement Officer" - Austin (Texas) American-Statesman headline
 
What Would We Do Without Experts?: "Experts: Media Today Would Demand Chappaquiddick Answers" -CNN.com
 
You Call This Fair and Balanced?: "Aggressive Fox Bites 2 People, Steals Sweater" -Daily Progress (Charlottesville, VA)
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Astrophysicists Puzzle Over Planet That's Too Close to Its Sun" -Los Angeles Times
 
'I Don't Know, Dude, but Why Take Any Chances?': "Could Smoking Pot Cut Risk of Head, Neck Cancer?" -Reuters
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Downturn Dims Prospects Even at Top Law Schools" -The New York Times
 
News You Can Use: "Occidental College Offers Course in Stupidity" -Puffington Host
 
Bottom Stories of the Day:
"Even Higher Taxes Coming for Californians" -Los Angeles Times
"Few Tickets Sold for Clinton CNE Speech" -Globe and Mail (Toronto)

Sometimes Suzanne's Sunny Stipulations.........
 
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
 
Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
 
For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
 
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings.............
 
Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
 
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
 
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
 
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
 
Pay off your credit cards every month.
Pugnacious Paul's Predictable Puns............
 
Thomas Edison agreed to install light bulbs in the lavatory of the Sioux Nation Building, thus becoming the first man to wire a head for reservations
 
Noah was a shrewd investor because he was able to float his stock while the rest of the world was being liquidated.
 
Two overweight middle-aged women are on their daily exercise stroll.  They were talking about how hard it is to lose weight as one gets older... something with which all of us must deal eventually. One woman complained that she remained an "apple-shape" and the other said that no matter how much she exercised, there was too much poundage on her thighs. It almost seemed like it was there to stay. Her buddy agreed, saying, "It's true. The lard works in mysterious ways."
 
A spokesperson for the U. S. Mint announced that a new fifty-cent piece was being issued to honor two great American patriots. On one side of the coin would be Teddy Roosevelt and on the other side, Nathan Hale. Asked why two people were going to be on the same coin, the official replied, "Now, when you toss a coin you can simply call, 'Ted's or Hale's.'"

Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.........................
 
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives.   You'll be afraid to cough.
 
You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape.   If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.   If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.
 
If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
 
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
That's it for this week from your "embedded neighborhood organizer" looking for a country to move to if we don't vote the evil Liberals out of office and clean up the mess that CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN have become

But, on the other hand...............
 
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

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