Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....
People for the Ethical treatment of Animals sent tons of toilet paper to Cuba Friday to help Cuba with its emergency shortage. The communist nation cannot supply its people's most basic needs. And to think that just last month Castro assured Cuba that government toilet paper will not drive private toilet paper out of business
Merry Mary's Meticulous Meanderings..........................
I'm hoping God grades on the curve.
If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of swine flu, ignore it. It's just spam.
People say that hard work never killed anybody, but did you ever know
anybody who rested to death?
As I get older, I've found that I don't scream for ice cream like when I was a kid. I think I'm becoming lactose-ambivalent
Medical marijuana should be between patient and doctor. It's a joint decision
Sappy Sarah's Serendipitous Sayings........................
September is Shameless Promotion Month
This is Build A Better Image Week [You need it!]
September 20 is...National Punch Day [So, punch someone!]
September 20 is...Hollywood Magic Day
September 21 is...International Banana Festival Day
September 22 is...Dear Diary Day
September 22 is...Elephant Appreciation Day
September 22 is...Fish Amnesty Day [So. throw it back]
September 22 is...Hobbit Day
September 22 is...Dear Diary Day
September 23 is...Checkers Day
September 23 is...Dogs In Politics Day
September 23 is...National Centenarians Day
September 23 is...Marie Callender's Pot Pie Day
September 24 is...Festival Of Latest Novelties
September 24 is...National Cherries Jubilee Day
September 24 is...Innergize Day
September 25 is...National Comic Book Day
September 25 is...National One-Hit Wonder Day
September 26 is...National Good Neighbor Day
September 26 is...Johnny Appleseed Day
September 26 is...National Pancake Day [You can get behind this one!]
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines....................
Put your hands up, and pull your pants down! "Police Say Search Dog Found Stolen Meat in Man's Pants" - Framingham (Mass.) MetroWest Daily News headline
So He Is an Alien!: "President Obama Brought to Earth" -Daily Telegraph (London)
The 9/10 Mentality Personified: "Kerry Marks Eve of 9/11 Anniversary With Push for Climate Legislation" -Washington Independent
This Project Is Dead in the Water: "Kennedy Memoir E-Book Release Delayed 'Indefinitely'" --USA Today
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Weather Creates Problems" -Tampa Tribune
News You Can Use: "'Contraception Cheapest Way to Combat Climate Change'" -Daily Telegraph (London)
Redundant Story of the Day: "Obama Steps Up Call for Health Care Reform"
And I'm adding this as a look to the future - Illegal Immigrants Threaten to Withhold 2012 Votes from Democrats if Not Included in Healthcare Bill
Princely Paul's Perilous Puns......................
A Winner! - A thief in Paris planned to steal some Paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make an obvious error he replied, "Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings." "I had no Monet, to buy Degas, to make the Van Gogh." See if you have DeGaulle to send this on to someone else. I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.
I attended electronics college for a 20-month course, leaving with my Associate Degree. One day in lab class, my partner decided he knew enough about circuitry to screw with a breadboard design by himself. The result was that he managed to get his hands across the 1350 volt oscilloscope vacuum tube leads, knocking him off his chair several feet. When my prof asked what happened, I told him, "Dave thought he was an engineer. Turns out he was only a conductor."
Serious Suzi's Serenic Sayings.....................
If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems....................
Home Alone IV -- by Eddie Buddyhome
The Scent of a Man -- by Jim Nasium
Is O. J. Guilty? -- by Howard I. Know
Animal Illnesses -- by Ann Thrax
French Overpopulation -- by Francis Crowded
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings..................
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
That's enough for this week from your embedded community organizer living in The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where the Mayor of Absurdia is still not in prison and the boy governor continues to make a fool of himself. (see the following item from the Baltimore Sun Paper)
But, on the other hand......................
It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to stick to it.