September 25, 2009

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party....

 
Well, the Kenyan/Manchurian Candidate continued his apology tour for which the theme is "Let's Hate America's Past."  This time in front of the United Nations that we American taxpayers under-right so that they can hate us as a group!
 
Two filmmakers went to Acorn's office in Absurdia/Baltimore, posing as a pimp and a prostitute, saying they wanted to buy a house and run it as a brothel using illegal Honduran teenage girls. Acorn workers gave them advice on how to get away with prostitution and how to avoid paying taxes.  Here is my question.   "If they want to get away with prostitution and not pay taxes, go to Congress. These are the professionals.   Just talk to any Democratic Congress-person"

Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Meanderings............
 
Beauty is only a light switch away!
 
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal
 
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere
 
Thereís a Hall Of Fame to honor outstanding women soldiers. Itís a WAC's Museum.
 
Remember, if you must answer a phone call while in the company of others, do them the courtesy of asking if they would mind you speaking to someone more witty and entertaining than they.

Serendipitous Sarah's Serenic Sayings....................
 
September is Go Wild During California Wild Rice Month
 
This is National Dog Week
 
September 20 is...National Punch Day
 
September 20 is...Hollywood Magic Day
 
September 21 is...International Banana Festival Day
 
September 22 is...Dear Diary Day    [Don't blame your diary if your life is boring]
 
September 22 is...Elephant Appreciation Day
 
September 22 is...Fish Amnesty Day    [Throw back a cooked fish]
 
September 22 is...Hobbit Day
 
September 23 is...Dogs In Politics Day    [Aren't they all!]
 
September 23 is...National Centenarians Day    [I'm getting closer]
 
September 23 is...Marie Callender's Pot Pie Day
 
September 24 is...Festival Of Latest Novelties
 
September 24 is...National Cherries Jubilee Day
 
September 24 is...Innergize Day
 
September 25 is...National Comic Book Day
 
September 25 is...National One-Hit Wonder Day
 
September 26 is...Johnny Appleseed Day
 
September 26 is...National Pancake Day  
 
September 27 is...Crush A Can Day    [Hint - empty it first]
 
September 27 is...International Rabbit Day
 
September 26 is...National Good Neighbor Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.................
 
SO THAT'S WHERE THE KIDS LEARN IT: "New Mexico Driving Teacher Charged with Drunk Driving" - AP headline
 
Insurance - The Secret of Immortality: "Uninsured More Likely to Die, Study Finds" -ABCNews.com
 
Acorn Trainers Take Note: "Sex Fees Not Deductible Medical Expenses, Tax Court Rules" -LoweringTheBar.net
 
Breaking News From 1976: "Jimmy Carter Is Going to Be a Weak Link" -SteelCityInsider.com  (Some people never change!)
 
Though It's Not His Only Brush With the Law: "Ecstasy Bust Is First for Clinton" -Janesville (WI) Gazette
 
Questions No One Is Asking: "Which Star Wore Slippers on the Red Carpet?" -E! Online
 
AND HURRY! "Reward Offered for Missing Kidney" - Seattle (Wash.) Times headline
 
Infertility unlikely to be passed on - Montgomery Advertiser
 
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link - Cornell Daily Sun
 
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut - The New York Times
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Japanese Fight Giant Jellyfish Invasion With Jellyfish-Infused Space Candy" -FastCompany.com
 
Redundant Story of the Day: "Cuba Won't Make Moves to Better US Relations" -Associated Press
Participant Paul's Particular Puns......................
 
Recently, our town received a grant to build housing for midgets.  According to our demographics, they figured that we should have six midgets living here.  They sent enough money so that we could finance the building of homes and let the "little people" pay less than the going rate for rent.   Since we have only one "little person" living here it turns out that he won't have to pay anything for the only house we built, the subsidy covers everything.    We call it a "Stay Free Mini Pad."
 
I was in a church meeting where the topic was "Burial or Cremation?"  Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones. So if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!"
 
So then the cure was obvious: "Walk on, walk on, with rope in your cart, and you'll never knock a lawn."

Simply Suzi's Serious Sayings................

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to
marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
 
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
 
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and
married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
 
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop
Doggy Dogg Pooh.

Gentleman Jim's Generic Jottings....................
    (And famous book titles)
 
Fallen Underwear -- by Lucy Lastic

House Construction -- by Bill Jerome Home

Yellow River -- by Iam Ping

Lewis Carroll -- by Alison Wonderland

Leo Tolstoy -- by Warren Peace

The L. A. Lakers Breakfast -- by Kareem O' Wheat
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings.........................
 
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
 
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
 
Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
 
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
 
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
That's it for this week from your embedded "community organizer" deep in The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where prostitution of illegal alien teen-age Honduran girls and avoidance of paying taxes is now - OFFICIAL MARYLAND STATE POLICY since the boy governor - Martin O'Malley - refuses to investigate Acorn who endorsed this very thing 
But, on the other hand....................
 
Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it.

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