Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....
It was Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s first day . There was a bit of hazing going on . . . Justice Roberts sent her to the hardware store to buy a left-handed gavel, and she went because, "being a wise Latina woman................
Mercurial Mary's Meticulous Morsels..............
To hell with the nice list, it's more
fun to be naughty.
Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
According to my junk e-mail, I'm bald, impotent and in need of constant refinancing.
Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
Stop Global Whining
Serendipitous Sarah's Sillier Sayings...............
October is National Go Hog Wild - Eat Country Ham Month
This is National School Lunch Week [and good luck with that!]
October 11 is . . . . It's My Party Day [and I'll cry if]
October 12 is . . . . International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
October 12 is . . . . Destiny Day
October 13 is . . . . National Peanut Festival Day
October 14 is . . . . Be Bald and Free Day
October 14 is . . . . National Dessert Day
October 15 is . . . . National Grouch Day [one of my favorites!]
October 16 is . . . . Dictionary Day
October 16 is . . . . National Boss Day
October 16 is . . . . North American Community College Day
October 17 is . . . . Gaudy Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines..................
DOGS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN: "Atheists Offer to Care for Christians' Pets after the Rapture" - London Telegraph headline
Whatever You Do, Don't Tell Anyone!: "EXCLUSIVE: Obama Agrees to Keep Israel's Nukes Secret" -The Washington Times
That's 'Mr. President': "Community Organizer Says Olympics Will Bring Long-Awaited Improvements" -Chicago Public Radio Web site
Questions Nobody Is Asking: "Are You Up for Oprah's Karaoke Challenge?" -Chicago Sun-Times Web site
Questions That Answer Themselves: "Will California Become America's First Failed State?" -Guardian (London)
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Brown Stink Bug Invades D.C. Area" -NewsChannel8 Web site
News You Can Use: "New Blood-Thinning Drug Safer Than Rat Poison"
-Faculty of 1000 Medicine press release
Redundant Story of the Day: "Group Tied to Obama Urges Tax Increase" -The Wall Street Journal
Popular Paul's Particular Puns............................
A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me" she replied. "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then, they saw a minor communist party official walking toward them. "Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Alfred whether it's officially raining or snowing." As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Alfred, is it officially raining or snowing?" "It's raining, of course you stupid idiots!!" he screamed, and walked on. But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!" The man quietly replied: "Rude Alf the Red knows rain, dear!"
My cousin is in a bad spot. He's got a bad inner ear problem that needs surgery soon, or he'll lose his hearing on that side. He has no insurance, though, and the cost is WAY too much for him. He does have a way out, though. A local elderly widow has offered to pay for the operation, but only if he'll marry her, afterwards! She's 50 years older than him! You could call it a wife or deaf situation.
Coffee: Break Fluid
Poverty: An outwageous condition
Gentleman Jim's Generic Jottings.................
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe
Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then
Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),
King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
Saucy Sarah's Scrappy Screenings................
Why Cars Stop -- by M. T. Tank
Wind in the Willows -- by Russell Ingleaves
Look Younger -- by Fay Slift
Mountain Climbing -- by Andover Hand
It's Springtime! -- by Theresa Green
No! -- by Kurt Reply
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings........................
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger, including your kids!
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
That's it for this week from your embedded "community organizer" hiding in the outskirts of Absurdia, the principle city of "The Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan" where our criminal Mayor STILL is not in prison. We get more like Illinois every day. Oooops - what does that mean for our boy governor's future?
But, on the other hand..................
For every minute you are angry with someone you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.