Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party......
President Obama failed to get the Olympics for Chicago Friday. He's in a slump lately. He hung out with ACORN and they went down, he led Chicago's Olympic bid and it went down, and he did the David Letterman show and now the police are involved.
"Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and gave him triumphal processions. ... Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the 'new, wonderful good society' which shall now be Rome's, interpreted to mean 'more money, more ease, more security, more living fatly at the expense of the industrious.'" --Roman statesman Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.)
But, fear not - Obama is up for the Cy Young award!
And on the other side of the aisle, the Stupid Party either didn't say anything stupid, or, more likely, couldn't get it into print!
Marvelous Mary's Meticulous Moments.................
Remember...a developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already owns a house in the woods.
Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.
There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept.
I Lost My Baby, My Pickup and My Guitar on the Information Highway.
Do you know why a woman's work is never done? They don't get up early enough!
Strenuous Sarah's Syrupy Sayings..........................
This is National Apple Jack Month
This is Spinning & Weaving Week
October 18 is . . . . No Beard Day
October 18 is . . . . Sweetest Day
October 18 is . . . . Evaluate Your Life Day
October 19 is . . . . National Nude Vacuum Day
October 19 is . . . . Reptile Awareness Day
October 21 is . . . . Babbling Day
October 22 is . . . . National Nut Day
October 20 is . . . . National Brandied Fruit Day
October 22 is . . . . National Color Day
October 23 is . . . . TV Talk Show Host Day
October 23 is . . . . National Mole Day
October 24 is . . . . National Bologna Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious (and true) Headlines....................
I THINK SHE HAS HAD ENOUGH: "Fort Pierce Woman Throws Table Leg Through Window, Chokes Boyfriend When He Won't Buy Her More Natural Ice Beer, Police Say" - Fort Pierce (Fla.) Tribune headline
MA'AM, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST: "Woman Didn't Smell like Alcohol, but Car Smelled like Hamburger" - Northwest Florida Daily News
Another Award for Obama!: "American Wins World Porridge Title" - Sunday Telegraph (London)
We Blame Global Warming:
"Calif. Wildfire Stalled by Record Low Temperatures" - Associated Press
"Some Idaho School Kids Enjoy an Early Snow Day" - KTVB-TV Web site (Boise)
"Cold Temperatures Threaten Seed Potato Crop" - Associated Press
The World's Smallest Violin: "Director Polanski Feels Depressed in Jail: Lawyer" - Reuters
Questions Nobody Is Asking: "Do We Need a 37-Cent Coin?" - New York Times Web site
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Car Accident Victim Miraculously Grows New Skull" - FoxNews.com
Redundant Stories of the Day: "AP Newsbreak: Nobel Jury Defends Obama Decision" - Associated Press
Particular Paul's Perilous Puns..........................
There once was a king who was loved by all of his subjects, especially because of the hunting excursions he arranged and shared with them. As will happen, the king died and his eldest son took the throne. Now this new king was an animal lover to the core, and immediately outlawed all forms of hunting and fishing. His subjects accepted this for only a short time before they finally ousted him. This was a truly a significant event because it's the first time a reign was ever called on account of game.
A traveler in the Himalayas came upon a great gathering of holy men. There was one aged guru who was reputed to have achieved nirvana by subsisting entirely on a diet of asparagus. In a sudden mountain shower, all of the participants in this conclave were drenched, except the asparagus-eater. The rain simply avoided falling on him, as if he were roofed. "That's incredible," said the traveler. "Not at all," said his native guide, "for is it not sung of in America, even on Broadway, 'Bliss is the awning of the Sage of Asparagus .'"
A California vintner in the Napa Valley area that produces Pinot Blanc and Pinot Grigio wines has developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic and promises to reduce the number of trips an older person has to make to the bathroom during the night. They will be marketing the new wine as Pinot More.
Simply Suzi's Strenuous Sayings.......................
Enema.............................Not a friend
Fester......................... Quicker than someone else
Fibula........................... A small lie
Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain................. Getting hurt at work
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems..........................
(The world's Shortest books)
NEGROES I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan. lustrated by Michael Moore
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS & HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA by Rev Jesse
Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE by Osama Bin Laden
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings................................
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Over prepare, then go with the flow..
Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
That's about it for this week from your embedded "community organizer" living near Absurdia, where: It seems these two filmmakers went to Acorn's office in Baltimore, posing as a pimp and a prostitute, saying they wanted to buy a house and run it as a brothel using illegal Honduran teenage girls. And Acorn workers gave them advice on how to get away with prostitution and how to avoid paying taxes. See, here's my question. If they want to get away with prostitution and not paying taxes, go to Congress. These are the professionals. These are the people that know.
The first graders lining up for lunch at Arlington Elementary School in Baltimore, Md., on Monday could pick a cheese sandwich or cheese lasagna along with vegetables. They could not, however, have meat for lunch now that cafeterias throughout the school district have adopted "Meatless Mondays” -- a national and international movement with ties to animal rights activists.
But, on the other hand................................
Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom