Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party.....
Merry Mary's Melodic Murmurings...................
Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It's typical of a golfer-always blame the caddy.
President Obama's approval rating has hit a new low ó 47 percent according to the latest Gallup poll. But White House press secretary Robert Gibbs said that a "6-year-old with a crayon" could come up with those same poll results. You know, I'll bet it's the same 6-year-old with a crayon that came up with the last budget they came out with
Men are like Computers. Hard to figure out, and never have enough memory.
Men are like Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Forget yoga. You can never experience the human body's full range of contortion until you've walked face-first into a spider web.
Serene Sarah's Sappy Sayings.........................
Sarah asked her students to write the words to their favorite Christmas Carols. Here are some of the lines she received.
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin a list, chicken and rice.
Noel. Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer.
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, Then pretend that he is sparse and brown
You'll go down in Listerine
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines....................
NOT ALL OF THEM, ANYWAY: "Geek Realizes 'All Hot Girls Aren't Evil'" - Sydney (Australia) Daily Telegraph headline
We Blame Global Warming: "New Yorkers Brave Cold to Protest Freeze" - Arutz Sheva (Israel)
Breaking News From 1933: "Climate Change Fears May Worsen Depression" - MSNBC.com
'Poor' Hardest 'Hit': "'World' Coming to End" - New York Post
The Stimulus Is Working: "Hooker Makes 3Q Profit, Sales Up From 2nd Quarter" - Home Furnishings Business
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Big Bird Gets Talon Caught in DC Metro Escalator" - Associated Press
News You Can Use: "Base Says Grenades Now Safe to Use" - Cape Cod Times (Hyannis, MA)
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Absence of Evidence for a Meteorite Impact Event 13,000 Years Ago" - University of Hawaii at Manoa press release
Headlines Eaton Rite would like to see....................
O.J. Signs Book Deal for "If I Did It" Sequel
Atari Recalls 100,000 Pong Games in CubaNostalgic George
Steinbrenner Fires Billy Martin Again
Part of Kate Gosselin "Still Loves Jon"; Nearly All of Everybody Else Couldn't Give a hoot
Dems Agree "Transparency" Is Really Overrated
Particular Paul's Penurious Puns.....................
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank proving once and for all that YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR KAYAK AND HEAT IT, TOO.
The Buddhist refused his dentist's
Novocain during root canal work? HE WANTED TO TRANSCEND DENTAL MEDICATION
It is better to have loved a short person and lost, than never to have loved A TALL.
Worry causes falling hair. When the
going gets tough, the tufts get going.
And a season special:
I like sugar in coffee, although
I'm fine when there's just "Sweet'n'Low"
You may find this funny
I also like honey
I'm quite ambi-dextrose, ya know