December 15, 2009
Pushing back the frontiers of
the National Socialist Party...
Nothing political this week - just have
a Merry Christmas
& a Happy
Merry Mary's Melodic
Here's a fun fact: You know how much Christmas
wrapping paper is on the average roll? Four inches less than you need.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You
will learn a lot today.
Syrupy Sarah's Strategic Similes
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically
Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Kings
Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me
Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and
Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and
Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
Paranoid: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me
Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna
Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
Depression: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is
Flat, All Is Lonely
Passive-Aggressive Personality: On The First Day of
Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)
Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting
on an Open Fire.
Practical Paul's Primary Puns...................
Advice to Christmas Shoppers: Make out your Chopin Liszt early before
Debussy season, when you have time to check out Verdi good bargains and can
still get gifts Faure good price, not have to Handel large crowds and have
time to give Bach things you decide you don't want.
If you go shopping early you will surely be baroque, because you can shop at
each store Purcell. Yule be saying, "I wish I Haydn't did it, I guess my sin
is Grieg". I bought too many 3 Stooges paraphernalia, but I couldn't resist
Mozart. Now all I see at the bottom of my checkbook are those big, bad
Berlioz. But don't worry, after shopping, yule just say, "Schumann, let's go
eat some Mexican crocodile named 'Elgar' and then we can top it off with
some Shubert". After which, I can give you a ride home in my station Wagner
On Christmas night, two angels appeared. What were their names? Lo and
Behold. The Bible says, "Lo and Behold, the angels, appeared to the
Santa just got a new reindeer. Guess what its name was: olive. "OLIVE the
other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems.............
To: All Employees
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following
guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden. (It runs up
an incredible long distance bill.)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the
woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings..................
"Christmas waves a magic wand over this world and behold, everything is
softer and more beautiful." ~Norman Vincent Peale
"Christmas is the gentlest, loveliest festival of the revolving year and
yet, for all that, when it speaks, its voice has strong authority." ~W.J.
"I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year."
Seasonal Susie's Serious Sayings...............
"True Story of Rudolph"
A man named Bob May, depressed and brokenhearted, stared out his drafty
apartment window into the chilling December night.
His 4-year-old daughter Barbara sat on his lap quietly sobbing. Bobs wife,
Evelyn, was dying of cancer. Little Barbara couldn't understand why her
mommy could never come home. Barbara looked up into her dad's eyes and
asked, "Why isn't Mommy just like everybody else's Mommy?" Bob's jaw
tightened and his eyes welled with tears. Her question brought waves of
grief, but also of anger. It had been the story of Bob's life. Life always
had to be different for Bob.
Small when he was a kid, Bob was often bullied by other boys. He was too
little at the time to compete in sports. He was often called names he'd
rather not remember. From childhood, Bob was different and never seemed to
fit in. Bob did complete college, married his loving wife and was grateful
to get his job as a copywriter at Montgomery Ward during the Great
Depression. Then he was blessed with his little girl. But it was all
short-lived. Evelyn's bout with cancer stripped them of all their savings
and now Bob and his daughter were forced to live in a two-room apartment in
the Chicago slums. Evelyn died just days before Christmas in 1938. Bob
struggled to give hope to his child, for whom he couldn't even afford to buy
a Christmas gift. But if he couldn't buy a gift, he was determined a make
one - a storybook! Bob had created an animal character in his own mind and
told the animal's story to little Barbara to give her comfort and hope.
Again and again Bob told the story, embellishing it more with each telling.
Who was the character? What was the story all about? The story Bob May
created was his own autobiography in fable form. The character he created
was a misfit outcast like he was. The name of the character? A little
reindeer named Rudolph, with a big shiny nose. Bob finished the book just
in time to give it to his little girl on Christmas Day. But the story
doesn't end there.
The general manager of Montgomery Ward caught wind of the little storybook
and offered Bob May a nominal fee to purchase the rights to print the book.
Wards went on to print, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and distribute it to
children visiting Santa Claus in their stores. By 1946 Wards had printed
and distributed more than six million copies of Rudolph.
That same year, a major publisher wanted to purchase the rights from Wards
to print an updated version of the book. In an unprecedented gesture of
kindness, the CEO of Wards returned all rights back to Bob May. The book
became a best seller.
Many toy and marketing deals followed and Bob May, now remarried with a
growing family, became wealthy from the story he created to comfort his
grieving daughter. But the story doesn't end there either. Bob's
brother-in-law, Johnny Marks, made a song adaptation to Rudolph. Though the
song was turned down by such popular vocalists as Bing Crosby and Dinah
Shore , it was recorded by the singing cowboy, Gene Autry. "Rudolph the
Red-Nosed Reindeer" was released in 1949 and became a phenomenal success,
selling more records than any other Christmas song, with the exception of
The gift of love that Bob May created for his daughter so long ago kept on
returning back to bless him again and again. And Bob May learned the
lesson, just like his dear friend Rudolph, that being different isn't so
bad. In fact, being different can be a blessing.
And now, from Absurdia, the principle city of The Peoples Democratic
Republic of Absurdistan, something a little different:
After serious & cautious consideration... your contract of
friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2010!
My Wish for You in 2010
May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal
May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.
May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter
assault your lips!
May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be
that of joy
May the problems you had, forget your home address!
In simple words ............
May 2010 be the best year
of your life!!!
a Happy New Year!!
But, on the other hand....................
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is
fighting some kind of battle.
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