January 8, 2010
back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party....
If you have gone
through airport security lately, you have been screened more
thoroughly than any of Obama's cabinet or czar picks
I don't believe that the stock market is doing all
that well. I believe Federal Reserve and the U.S. government are
rigging the stock market, I can't prove it but something is wrong when
the malls & the auto dealerships are empty and manufacturing stocks are
rising. Are they using TARP/other funds to buy equity in companies?
are calling this a record blizzard, which makes sense if you think about
it. Republicans always said the Senate would pass healthcare when hell
calendar! Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court
agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama's legal eligibility
to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey .
Merry Mary's Melodic Murmurings....................
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but I went
in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance. She leaned
over and pushed me!"
Authorities were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Only in America do we have a general in charge of the post office and a
secretary in charge of defense.
Serendipitous Sarah's Serenic Sayings...................
This is National Yours, Mine and Ours Month
This is Someday We'll Laugh About This Week
January 10 is...Peculiar People Day
January 11 is...National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day
January 12 is...Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day
January 13 is...National Clean Off Your Desk Day
January 13 is...Stephen Collins Foster Day (An ancestor of mine!!!)
January 13 is...Make Your Dreams Come True Day
January 13 is...Blame Someone Else Day
January 13 is...Penguin Awareness Day
January 14 is...National Dress Up Your Pet Day
January 15 is...Champion of the Month Day
January 15 is...Hat Day
January 15 is...Just Do It! - Make a Connection Day
January 16 is...Hot and Spicy Food International Day
January 16 is...Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 16 is...National Fig Newton Day
January 16 is...National Nothing Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines.................
NEXT TIME, DON'T OPEN IT: "Woman Opens Letter Telling Her She's Dead" -
Lancashire (England) Evening Post headline
Life Imitates the Onion:
"Suicide Bombing a Cry for Help, Vengeance Against the Infidel" -The
Onion, April 28, 2004
"Web Posts Suggest Lonely, Depressed Terror Suspect" -Associated Press,
Dec. 30, 2009
What Would We Do Without Sources?: "Explosives in Detroit Terror Case
Could Have Blown Hole in Airplane, Sources Say" -The Washington Post
Yes We Can: "Obama: We Can't Treat Tax Dollars Like 'Monopoly Money'" -
We Blame Global Warming: "Earth's Upper Atmosphere Cooling Dramatically"
News You Can Use: "Meat May Be the Reason Humans Outlive Apes" -
Redundant Story of the Year: "Democrats See Greater Role for Government
in Health Care" - New York Times Web site
Headlines Mr. Eaton Rite Would Like To See..............
"Player of the Year" and "Player of the Year"
Pushes Stone Up to Top of--- Nope, Down It Goes Again
Boxing Day Celebration Goes Horribly Awry
World Stunned to
Learn Nigeria Has Real Banks
Partier Paul's Perilous Puns..................
Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?"
"Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been cold, wet, and
damp, and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey." "No
problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down five blocks and turn left.
Keep going until you see all the cars. There's a Bar Mitzvah going on
and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and fresh fruit." "Thanks for
the tip," said the second bee, and flew away. A few hours later the two
bees ran into each other again. The first bee asked, "How'd it go?"
"Great!" said the second bee. "It was everything you said it would be.
There was plenty of fruit and, oh, such huge floral arrangements on
every table." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked the first bee.
"That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want them to think
I was a wasp."
I'm not a psychiatrist but I'm fairly certain that the problems which
haunted Norman Bates were relatively psycho in some attic.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered
from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
Simply Susie's Serious Stipulations..........................
2006: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2007: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200
2008: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2009: I will work out 3 days a week.
2010: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems......................
Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head
illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find