January 22, 2010
Pushing back the frontiers of the
National Socialist Party...
America's celebrating the first anniversary
of Good King Barack the Hopeychanger's reign by electing a Republican?
A year into
Obama's first term in office, unemployment is higher, the national debt
is higher, and there are more soldiers serving in Afghanistan. When
asked about it, Obama was like, "Yes, but technically — that is change."
Harry Reid is
denying reports that in 2007 he said to Obama: "You should run. You
people are good at that.......
I'll bet Michael
Steele, the purported leader of the Stupid Party, is lying awake at
night trying to figure out how we can mess up the results of the
Keep your eye on
Jim DeMint, Rep. SC. He was the only one to put a hold on Obama's TSA
appointment (and published Christian hater) and stop him from being
BTW, today is the
37th year anniversary of Roe vs. Wade. Since then, around 50 million
babies have been killed as a result. 50,000,000. 135,000 per year.
3700 per day.
Merry Mary's Melodic
If you must choose between two evils,
pick the one you've never tried before
If you don't drink, smoke or drive a
car, you're a tax evader
Always and never are two words you
should always remember never to use
How does that debt counseling service
think they're going to convince me they're legit if they won't accept credit
Honk if you love Jesus. Text while
driving if you'd like to meet him.
Serenic Sarah's Stolid
This is still National Fiber Focus Month
This is National No Name Calling Week
[you no good @%*#]
January 24 is...National Peanut Day
January 24 is...The Most Depressing Day
of the Year
January 24 is... Eskimo Pie Day
January 25 is...Opposite Day
January 25 is...Observe The Weather Day
January 25 is...A Room of One's Own Day
January 26 is...Fun at Work Day
January 26 is...National Popcorn Day
January 27 is...National Chocolate Cake
January 27 is...Bubble Wrap Appreciation
January 27 is...Lewis Carroll Day
January 27 is...Thomas Crapper Day
January 28 is...National Kazoo Day
January 28 is...Clash Day
January 28 is...Rattle Snake Round-Up
January 29 is...Freethinkers Day
January 29 is...National Puzzle Day
January 29 is...National Cornchip Day
January 29 is...Bubble Wrap Appreciation
January 29 is...Freethinkers Day
January 30 is...Inane Answering Message
January 30 is...Escape Day
January 31 is...National Backwards Day
January 31 is...Fun at Work Day
January 31 is...National Popcorn Day
Happy Hilda's Hilarious
IN OTHER WORDS, HE'S NORMAL: "Man Opts
for Jail over New Year with Relatives" - Reuters headline
We Blame George W. Bush for Tuesday's
"Blame Beacon Hill" - Joan Vennochi column, Boston Globe
"Blame Obama" - Jeff Jacoby column, Boston Globe
And You Thought We Were Kidding!: "After
Obama Rally, Dems Pin Blame on Bush" - Hotline on Call, NationalJournal.com
Is That the Left Arm or the Far Left
Arm?: "President Obama's Political Arm Under Fire" - Politico.com
Maybe a Little Blow When You Could
Afford It: "White House Offers Drug Deal" - NationalJournal.com
We Blame Global Warming: "UK
Universities Warn That They Face 'Meltdown'" - Associated Press
Questions Nobody Is Asking: "The Big
Question: Will a New Bank Fee Help?" - Hill Web site
News of the Tautological: "Democrats
Trying to Mollify Unions" - Roll Call
Redundant Story of the Day: "Body Art
and Deviant Behavior: Study Finds Link Between Multiple Tattoos, Piercings
and Trouble" - Chicago Tribune
Headlines Harry R. M. Pitts
would like to see........
City May Impose Mandatory Time For
GOP Retakes House and Senate, Returns to
Being in Favor of Out-of-Control Spending and Prolonging War
Climate Change Deniers Missing in Cancun
Peaceful Paul's Particular
What do you call a woman throwing her
bills in the fire? Bernadette
A bicycle can't stand on its own because
it is two tired.
The Complete Shrimp Cookbook is pure
A Jew and a Christian were arguing about
the ways of their religion. The Jewish man said, "You people have been
taking things from us for thousands of years; The Ten Commandments, for
instance." The Christian replied, "Well, it's true that we took the Ten
Commandments from you, but you can't actually say that we've kept them
Gentleman Jim's Generic
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end
And don't start a sentence with a
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're
Always avoid annoying alliteration.
Simply Suzanne's Stoic
Insensitive .... I don't care if you
don't know the answer.
Insomnia .... I stayed awake all last
night thinking of the answer.
Intoxicated .... ** BURP **
Irreverent .... I swear to God, you ask
too many questions!
Laconic Larry's Liturgical
(and popular song titles!)
Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.
Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your
The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three
Times to the Bathroom.
Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the
Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
That's it for this week from
your embedded community organizer deep in the environs of Absurdia, the
principle city of The People's Democratic Republic of Absurdistan where we
haven't indicted a single politician for a week or two. Time to light a
fire under our state's investigators. There is much corruption to clean up
But, on the other hand.........
God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist
said to Him, "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has finally figured
out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what
you did in the beginning." "Oh, is that so? Please explain..." replies God.
"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and form it into the likeness
of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man." "Well, that's very
interesting... show Me." So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts
to mold the soil into the shape of a man. "No, no, no..." interrupts God,
"You have to use your *own* dirt."
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