January 30,2010

Pushing back the frontiers of the National Socialist Party....

 
We all have an apology to make so I will go first - I discovered during Obama's "State of the Nation" speech that we are at fault.  If we had just listened to him, the last year would not have happened!  Now, it's your turn........
 
Remember the campaign promise to lessen the power of lobbyists?  Obama now has at least 13 former lobbyists in his immediate policy making area.  I can supply the names &  details if you wish.
 
Air America has filed for bankruptcy and closed down.  Turns out even it's supporters got tired of the lies and misrepresentations......... 

Merry Mary's Meticulous Murmurings.....................
 
Massachusetts elects a Republican who drives a truck with 200,000 miles on it.  It's a Chevy truck.  Which is more hard to believe now?  Massachusetts elects a Republican or Chevy builds a truck that lasts 200,000 miles?
 
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
 
New Yorkers are always so depressed because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
 
President Obama has now been in office for a year.   He took something that was in terrible, terrible shape, and he brought it back from the brink of disaster.    The Republican Party

Serendipitous Sarah's Strident Stipulations......
 
February is... International Twit Award Month
 
This is International Flirting Week
 
February 1 is. . . Serpent Day  

February 1 is. . . Robinson Crusoe Day

February 2 is. . . Groundhog Shadow Day

February 2 is. . . National Mental Health Day    [and you know who needs it the most!]

February 3 is. . . Cordova Ice Worm Day

February 4 is. . . Create A Vacuum Day  

February 4 is. . . Dump Your Significant Jerk Day

February 5 is. . . Disaster Day  

February 6 is. . . Lame Duck Day  

February 6 is. . . Pay A Compliment Day    [No matter what it costs!]

Happy Hilda's Hilarious Headlines................
 
YES, WELL, CARRY ON: "Floor Collapses at Weight Watchers Meeting" -  London Times headline
 
Life Imitates the Onion:
"Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner" --Onion News Network, Nov. 16
"Obama Uses Teleprompters During Speech at Elementary School" - RealClearPolitics.com, Jan. 24
 
We Blame Global Warming: "Pelicans Treated for Hypothermia From Calif. Storm" - Associated Press
 
Questions Nobody Is Asking:
"Are You Surprised John Edwards Dropped His Denial and Admitted to Fathering a Child With Rielle Hunter?" - ABCNews.com
"Can John Edwards' Dreadful Image Be Rehabilitated?" - Time.com
 
Everything Is Spinning Out of Control: "Police Investigating Michael Jackson Giraffe Deaths" - CNSNews.com
 
Redundant Stories of the Day: "Liberal Talk-Radio Station Air America Files for Bankruptcy, Will Go off the Air" - The Washington Post

Headlines I. D. Clare would like to see.................
 
MANY STUDENTS ARE TURNING TO VEGETABLES
 
Madonna Proves Over-the-Hill Middle-Aged Women Can Help Haiti Without Adoption
 
Prospect of Future Tonight Show Host Gig Excites Both Jimmy Fallon Show Viewers
 
Supreme Court Split Along Party, Brain Hemisphere, Dementia Level Lines
 
New Simplified Governmental Nutritional Guidelines: Tastes Good?  It's Bad for You!

Participating Paul's Perilous Puns.................
 
While Nostradamus was alive, he was in great demand by the various churches and temples in the area. Since this got to be a strain running from place to place, the religious groups got together and hammered out a schedule where they would each get Nostradamus' services for one or two days a month on a rotating basis.      It was the world's first prophet-sharing plan.

A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife but a tiger would!
 
Archaeologists in Britain found part of an ancient door. It had a stone hinge on it.
 
Saudi Arabia is free of mental illness because there are nomad people there.

Simply Suzanne's Silly Sayings...............
 
Narcissism ....  Before I answer, tell me, don't I look great?
 
Nausea ....  That question is going to make me vomit.
 
Nonchalant ....  It's not important.
 
Obstinate .... I'm not going to tell you.
 
Optimistic: Iíll be able to answer any question you give me.

Gentleman Jim's Generic Gems..................
    (and rules for writing!)
 
Be more or less specific.
 
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary.
 
Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
 
No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad
too.
 
Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.

Lucky Larry's Liturgical Leavings.................
 
You can't make your candle burn brighter by blowing out the other fellow's.
 
I was stopped once for going 53 in a 35 mile zone, but I told them I was dyslexic.
 
I figured out a way to slow down inflation. Turn it over to a government worker!
 
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
 
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

That's it for this week from your embedded community activist still circling the Woodbine Beltway, close to Absurdia, the principle city of the Peoples Democratic Republic of Absurdistan and the home of Michael Steele, the present undertaker of the Stupid Party.....

But, on the other hand..................
 
Serenity isn't freedom from the storm; it is peace within the storm.

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